Open Letter to L.K. Advani

Dear Mr Advani,

Hope this letter finds you in good health – after all you’ll need all that more to pursue your lifelong dream of grabbing being elected the Prime Minister for many more hundred decades to come and with ever-increasing rabidity vigour at that.

Let me begin by saying that I have never voted for you and your party. Before you jump and drool froth “Congress Conspiracy”, let me also tell you that I have never voted for the Congress either...nor for the CPI/M/Z/K/P…nor the Samaj(Hah!)wadi Party, the Bahujan Samaj Party…etcetera…etcetera…you see, I am one of those statistics in the electoral rolls – educated, earning, urban, but never voted.

So why this letter? You see, you and I have finally discovered something in common – both of us have finally stopped pretending. Just like the terrorists have stopped pretending they have a cause, you have stopped pretending that you care about this country and its people – whatever their religion/caste/income bracket be.

Actually, you did that right that day when you crossed the length and breadth of this country for an exercise ridden with cheap thrills and culminating in one of our great historical monuments being vandalized. I kept quiet then.

You did that when you kept quiet while churches and poor folks burned. In fact, you leapt up in defense of all your pals who were doing this. I seethed, but did not speak.

Time and time again, you continued to parrot the “H” word (like a kabaddi game on drugs) so much so that I disassociated myself from the religion I was born in to out of sheer embarrassment.

You had quick statements to make each and every time we the people came under a terrorist attack – but they were not about us. There were complaints/accusations/ whines/watchamacalit…but never a rational solution. You actually went the extra mile to blame the guys who were doing this job! I raged, grieved, and looked on helplessly for a couple of days and then ultimately, silence.

But now, I am done with all that. As are you. You have finally gone and done it – shed the pretence. By skipping the All-party meeting called by the Prime Minister at this time and choosing instead to continue campaigning, you and I came together on that common ground.

Only one thing though – one campaigns for votes...right? And these votes are won based on issues and the candidate’s ability to solve them? Well then, guess what the single biggest issue in this country is today? (Hint: rhymes with “schmerrorism”) and aw shucks, you skipped missed your chance to be - for once - useful. Tough.

As for me, I have stopped pretending that I don’t count in this country and that not voting for you is probably bringing you the power to do all that you have done and continue to do in a platter more than anything else. So, I am happy (for myself) to inform that I have begun the procedure to register myself to vote.

And I will vote. But not you. Never you.

So, here’s to good health, coz you gotta keep coming back to try and grab this one.


Goodbye and good luck.
Long suffering Citizen - India