Easy route - II

The gore behind the gori

Wanted! A fair, domesticated, convent-educated, unmarried, vegetarian, well-cultured, virtuous life partner with good moral character for 34, 170, 60,000 monthly. Kshatriya, educated and employed at education centre, having bunglow, car, etc. All materialistic amenities, prosperous, teetotaler, religious youth. Dowry, caste no bar. Orphaned, helpless, poor, lowly educated, simple-natured preferred. Her character will be main consideration. Please remember only sober, good charactered need apply.

No. This is not an extract from any fundamentalist organizations periodical circulated among like-minded souls...it is a serious matrimonial advertisement published in a leading national daily by an urban educated male youth, who much like most of his peer group, seeks this unrealistic paragon of virtue. The business of selling (...and buying) seems to have extended to the echelons of the so called ‘eligible’ bachelors in urban metros. The barter? ...presumably between high morality and higher status. Thus, his list of virtues begins and ends with indications of his moneyed status - as this is the presumed parameter of success.

So where do hardcore Sales skills come in? Let’s begin by describing the market scenario itself - With virtually (pun unintended) negligible competition from other players (read: those who can ‘adjust’ to the ways of lesser perfection), the seekers of a suitable replacement for their mothers, the washing machine, Mother Teresa...in no particular order of priority, have a considerable monopoly here. Thus, armed with an established market share, and a clear image of the requisite ‘brand’, it is no wonder that such adverts are more the norm than the exception. So, what role does the ‘brand’ herself get to play? Let¹s pick from the following:

• Watch fairness cream commercials and get brainwashed into believing that they are the sole route to marital bliss.
• Watch innumerable soaps (preferably back to back) which defines criteria for being ‘good’ and ‘bad’, almost as radically as being either the self-sacrificing, and eternally sugary and virtuous Snow-white (...complete with seven dwarves, in the form of ever doting relatives) versus the archetypical villainess, Cruella DeVille.
• Learn newer, and not-so-subtle nuances of how to make ‘Demigod’ (read: respected other half) live longer...by starving on Karva Chauth and other honorable equivalents.

Needless to say, with this sort of an advantage, new players - both buyers and sellers, find it hard to penetrate...often considered radical, and a definite threat to established rules and regulatory measures. So, new-age brands who not only don’t conform to the afore-mentioned, but also dare to introduce new standards are made to believe that they are injecting/infecting the purity of transactions thus far, and they are held up as examples of deteriorating standards in quality, the prime cause for the current recession, inflation, a dip in sales, etc.

So, much like other market scenarios today, this one too is facing a dearth of suitable openings, severe recession, and fluctuating fortunes among those who dare to venture into these stormy seas. Oh, and in case you¹re inclined to respond to the above-mentioned advert, remember that the transaction will be deemed null and void, if under the influence of alcohol...since ‘sobriety’ is clearly a non-negotiable clause.