Straight Curves

If you could read my mind - Gordon Lightfoot

2010-10-05T19:53:00.002+05:30

an old old favorite - remembered and replayed...

"If You Could Read My Mind"

If you could read my mind, love,

What a tale my thoughts could tell.

Just like an old time movie,

'Bout a ghost from a wishing well.

In a castle dark or a fortress strong,

With chains upon my feet.

You know that ghost is me.

And I will never be set free

As long as I'm a ghost that you can't see.

If I could read your mind, love,

What a tale your thoughts could tell.

Just like a paperback novel,

The kind the drugstores sell.

When you reached the part

where the heartaches come,

The hero would be me.

But heroes often fail,

And you won't read that book again

Because the ending's just too hard to take!

I'd walk away like a movie star

Who gets burned in a three way script.

Enter number two: A movie queen to play the scene

Of bringing all the good things out in me.

But for now, love, let's be real;

I never thought I could act this way

And I've got to say that I just don't get it.

I don't know where we went wrong,

But the feeling's gone And I just can't get it back.

If you could read my mind, love,

What a tale my thoughts could tell.

Just like an old time movie,

'Bout a ghost from a wishing well.

In a castle dark or a fortress strong.

With chains upon my feet.

But stories always end,

And if you read between the lines,

You'll know that I'm just tryin' to understand

The feelin's that you lack.

I never thought I could feel this way

And I've got to say that I just don't get it.

I don't know where we went wrong,

But the feelin's gone And I just can't get it back!

License to walk

2010-02-28T17:29:00.000+05:30

Having been a pedestrian all my life, this issue is close to my heart. As if the bloody drivers/riders (aka non-pedestrians) with murderous instincts were not bad enough, the Walkers of the world have also started posing some serious impediments. Hence, I think it's time that justice prevail and just like drivers need a license (though fat lot of good *that* does) walkers should need a license. Here's the criteria I have helpfully compiled to aid the drive in case someone in the Government does take note/heed of my suggestion.

The following criteria, if met, opens you to a world of sidewalks, pavements, and stairways. (If not met, do us a favour, stay at home and DIE, cretin!)

1. You are alone and walk in a straight line.

Notable exceptions:
a) when under the influence of alcohol and other narcotic/hallucinogenic substances,
b) when receiving directions from navigationally-challenged friends or co-walkers

Penalty for violation: Aim for the knees, lunge, and don't let go until s/he begs for his/her mother.

2. There are 2-3 of you and you walk in a single file when you see someone approaching from the other direction.

Notable exceptions: NONE

Penalty for violation: (action for opposite side person) Jab (hard) with elbow and step (harder) on person obstructing your path.

3. You move to one side when you hear the words "Excuse" and "me" together.

Notable Exception:
a) when said person is deaf or more likely, dumb.

Penalty for violation: Pull his/her shirt collar and puke your breakfast, lunch, dinner and everything in between in the space between cloth and skin. That should help his/hearing in case of a 'next time'.

4. Landings on stair cases are not where you take important decisions especially during rush hour.

Notable exception:
a) if you've left something behind. In that case take an immediate (read: within nanoseconds) u-turn and join the flow in the opposite direction. Will not be held liable in case anyone gets violent with you for breaking their queue.

Penalty for violation: Cause a stampede.Bury the evidence.

5. You do not walk when you talk or talk when you walk. whatever.

Notable exception:
a) if the talk in question is with inner self and/or the voices in your head

Penalty for violation: You will never walk or talk again.

More lists are in the offing - these will focus on other topics of pertinence:
1) How I mated your mother (handling crowds in buses)
2) Letting go - up or down (using escalators and elevators successfully)
3) YES, you can (life without cellphones)

Feedback to improve/expand the said lists and criteria will be welcome.

25 Random things about me

2009-02-13T15:47:00.004+05:30

This was actually one of 'em facebook tag thingies. But, I figured if I made the effort for that, I could use it for this one too. (# 1 on the list will tell you why)

****************************************

Please be warned, that the words 'random' and 'me' are kinda oxymoronic.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I am 3/4ths lazy and 1/4th over-anxious/scrupulous/manic – somehow, the quarter me manages to battle the rest of me and get things done.
2. I have been many things at various times – idealist, feminist, romanticist, pessimist, etc.…now I am just ‘happy-ist’.
3. I have met my share (and possibly yours too) of psychos in this world. I have also *been* my share of psychos!
4. I am a standard warm/friendly/approachable type, but I (voluntarily) have very few friends in this world.
5. I miss some of the friends I have lost along the way, but I don’t miss the reason/s I am not friends with them anymore.
6. I think my parents and I are mutually lucky people – I am lucky to have them and they are very lucky to have me.
7. My one and only regret in life is that I never pursued sports (a-ny sport) in a like, full-on/full-time manner.
8. I really, really love me-time. It is an absolute daily essential.
9. I never owned any soft toys all my life…until I got married. Now, I have an uncontrollably large (and counting…) family of them!
10. I believe that anti-retrograde amnesia (or whatever the hell Aamir Khan had in Ghajini) has been a malaise among our politicians for centuries now. It is quite high time the WHO declared this an epidemic and called for aid or a wipeout (preferably of both the disease and the said diseased). Alternately, it could be the next big FB movement.
11. To re-emphasize, I hate politicians – yes, all of them and believe they should be packed off to a galaxy far, far way.
12. Haha! I am writing all this with the happy (refer to #2) assumption that someone is actually reading this! At your own peril then!
13. I never registered to vote until end-ish 2008 (you do the math!).
14. My first real pet(s) ever – 5 teeny-weeny fish brought in 2 weeks ago! And erm, I am a dog person.
15. I am also a cheese person. I like to eat it, ie.
16. I have petted real tigers. Many of ‘em.
17. I get very worried about the fact that my (scientifically-proven small) brain is crammed with so much useless trivia and even more useless memories that there will soon be no room left for the really important things.
18. I hate being told what to do/how to do/when to do, etc. I am programmed to react in exactly the opposite manner whenever that happens and hence, it is useless to try that.
19. Office meetings, large groups, crowded places make me go into the deluded-invisible mode – signs and symptoms include chronic incoherence, glazed staring into space and/or rapid-fire blinking. This is usually followed immediately by profuse-perspiration-and-parched-throat-it is. (anyone having encountered me in one of these will be nodding wisely about #3 now)
20. I think the world (or at least, many offices I know!) could be a better place if we just did our own work to the best of our abilities and not as much spend time/energy on *sigh* politics. (see?)
21. My family and friends will always be # 1 on my priority list. However, they only make it to # 20 on this one.
22. I am quite obsessive about hygiene and cleanliness at home. (Not to say that I cease to be or anything away from it)
23. I l.o.v.e. cooking and more so when (any!) others like my cooking.
24. Positively blasphemous: I have not read a single Wodehouse till date, I have not watched any of the Star Wars movies, and I have not heard any Grateful Dead (sorry, Soumik!)
25. This is positively the last time I let 1/4th (ref: #1) con me in to one of these things!

Open Letter to L.K. Advani

2008-12-01T12:53:00.003+05:30

Dear Mr Advani,

Hope this letter finds you in good health – after all you’ll need all that more to pursue your lifelong dream of ~~grabbing~~ being elected the Prime Minister for many more hundred decades to come and with ever-increasing ~~rabidity~~ vigour at that.

Let me begin by saying that I have never voted for you and your party. Before you jump and ~~drool~~ froth “Congress Conspiracy”, let me also tell you that I have never voted for the Congress either...nor for the CPI/M/Z/K/P…nor the Samaj(Hah!)wadi Party, the Bahujan Samaj Party…etcetera…etcetera…you see, I am one of those statistics in the electoral rolls – educated, earning, urban, but never voted.

So why this letter? You see, you and I have finally discovered something in common – both of us have finally stopped pretending. Just like the terrorists have stopped pretending they have a cause, you have stopped pretending that you care about this country and its people – whatever their religion/caste/income bracket be.

Actually, you did that right that day when you crossed the length and breadth of this country for an exercise ridden with cheap thrills and culminating in one of our great historical monuments being vandalized. I kept quiet then.

You did that when you kept quiet while churches and poor folks burned. In fact, you leapt up in defense of all your pals who were doing this. I seethed, but did not speak.

Time and time again, you continued to parrot the “H” word (like a kabaddi game on drugs) so much so that I disassociated myself from the religion I was born in to out of sheer embarrassment.

You had quick statements to make each and every time we the people came under a terrorist attack – but they were not about us. There were complaints/accusations/ whines/watchamacalit…but never a rational solution. You actually went the extra mile to blame the guys who were doing this job! I raged, grieved, and looked on helplessly for a couple of days and then ultimately, silence.

But now, I am done with all that. As are you. You have finally gone and done it – shed the pretence. By skipping the All-party meeting called by the Prime Minister at this time and choosing instead to continue campaigning, you and I came together on that common ground.

Only one thing though – one campaigns for votes...right? And these votes are won based on issues and the candidate’s ability to solve them? Well then, guess what the single biggest issue in this country is today? (Hint: rhymes with “schmerrorism”) and aw shucks, you ~~skipped~~ missed your chance to be - for once - useful. Tough.

As for me, I have stopped pretending that I don’t count in this country and that not voting for you is probably bringing you the power to do all that you have done and continue to do in a platter more than anything else. So, I am happy (for myself) to inform that I have begun the procedure to register myself to vote.

And I will vote. But not you. Never you.

So, here’s to good health, coz you gotta keep coming back to try and grab this one.

Goodbye and good luck.
Long suffering Citizen - India

Djokovich - all for one and one for all

2008-08-20T14:38:00.004+05:30

Found this hilarious video on YouTube - This is Novak Djokovic (in the 2007 US Open players' dressing room area) mimicing all his contemporaries. Watch him 'do' Roger, Rafa, Roddick...and even Sharapova!

Indian Ish-ports - kuch khayalat

2008-08-19T15:03:00.005+05:30

Ching-Chong China-Mina Donkey-Monkey STOP!: I bet this is what the US Sporting fraternity as well as half the rest of the world is fervently chanting what with China having stamped it’s authority on the Olympics - both in the actual events and in their organization. On a personal note, I wish we could have the same (or even similar) gritty and determination, but we as a country/culture lack the discipline to make significant inroads into newer sports. Heck, we don’t even better the ones we’ve been in for donkey’s years. I don’t say we don’t want to, we just don’t get away enough from the dream to translate this to reality.
Dhishkayeon-Dhishkayeon: One guy does get away – and he only incidentally belongs to India. He would have achieved this feat if he belonged to any other country. Really. So, bravo to him and may he dream on. On a personal note, he would rise far more in my esteem if he were to donate all his prize money to better facilities for others of his sport and perhaps, other sports too. If he chooses not, well hey, more glory to him.
The Kumars at Number 1: At least, that’s what I am hoping! Though, the number 1 among the Kumars did have a heartbreaking loss yesterday. Hope is a four-letter word alright, but kambakth ussi pe duniya kayam hai!
Hockey mein chhakke nahi hote: …and evidently hamare cricket matches mein bhi.
Vamos Rafa Vamos!: A truly utterly deeply heartfelt moment of joy to see Rafael Nadal get the gold on the eve of his world number 1 coronation. Though, on a rather petty note, I would have liked it better if Federer had been the one to beat in the finals. His game was shockingly and rather embarrassingly un-Roger-y in the match against Blake. As a Rafa fan, it would have been somehow more satisfying if it were he and only he who could beat the mighty Fed on any surface. But, sigh, Fed seems to have his own plans here.
Of pervy-pervs and nervy-nerves: Was it just me or did the weightlifting coach of one of the USSR offshoots keep slapping his ward at the bottom each time before her bout? And then there was this (mutually consenting) huggy-kissy-touchy-feely between a US gymnastics contestant and her coach each time she went to perform and returned after. I am no moral police but she was 16, I think.
Saina ka kya kehna: The nerves in the previous point actually were in reference to this spunky 18-year-old. Ahhh…to go down after being up 11-3 in the decider is a pain only she can know of. My deepest regards for her game and spirit and thank you, Saina for allowing us to genuinely gloat, albeit for a few minutes in that match! We know who to look out for in London, 2012 – as do the badminton contingents of every other nation.

Bas…abhi picture to baaki hai…aur ye post bhi….I guess.

Coming of Age

2008-05-22T03:56:00.003+05:30

No, this post is not about turning 30 (which…sigh…btw I did half a year ago!) nor is it about getting grey hair (have p-lenty of those too thanks to some over-anxious genes!) nor yet is it about Vijay Mallya suddenly waking up to the cricket/sports side of the IPL (as opposed to the corporate side he but insisted on telling all of us about)

So, what is the fuss all about? It is about many cricketing truths and non-truths (not lies, just non-truths) and myths and non-myths birthing and bursting all around. (so, you see this post could just have well been called “Whee! Whoo! Whee! Oops! Ulp.” – oh wait, that’s probably already taken by the cheerleaders.)

The grand IPL fest*– first up, I have to admit I was one of the “purists” (the quotes because I certainly cannot claim to know-know cricket in any form really – for example, I still have trouble with field-placing-names (?), who’s batting - even when clearly, there is a left-hander and a right hander at the crease and so, it should be easy to figure who hit the big one/got out, etcetera…etcetera) who pooh-poohed at twenty-twenty and scorned and scoffed about it NOT being a sport and rather a gimmicky extravaganza. Well, cut to now, and I have to say I have been feverishly following each game and the league table has done what no math teacher could ever do in his/her lifetime - make me want to learn some math (no, no, still can’t do much beyond “wanting to”!) so well, essentially, I did not see myself watching these matches with any interest beyond a polite nod sort of a thing etc. but w.o.w. that one has definitely turned on it’s head now!

On a related note, thanks to the three-hour format (and the change in cities) I have managed to actually watch not one but two matches LIVE in two of my favorite stadiums in the whole wide world! That was and is something else! Just one more to go in my list of must-must-must-go** stadiums now!

The new and improved big McCullum aka I am loving it - The first one (that I visited – it’s actually the second on the must-must-must-go list) was easy – it’s the home ground in my city – Chinnaswamy. And as luck would have it (yeah, baby way to go-o!) this was the inaugural match and SO, got to watch the whole opening ceremony shingbang as well! My first sight of the stadium was overwhelming – I almost took a step back at the sight and sound of it all, but when some oxygen (and a firm kick on the backside from my husband) finally kick-started some of my brain cells again, I realized that it looks a lot smaller than I always imagined it to be having watched it on TV. The next realization being that the seats are not numbered and so the grumble-grumble hunt for decent seats began. From then on it was a dream run with the innings of a lifetime (sadly, I think for all time really…I mean outside of 20-20, the IPL…the works) in the first half and the wind knocked out of the sails of the home team in the second half. The great thing about that match (for me) was that it was the only one everyone watched without any bias for any team – I mean, we were hardly to know then of the nerve-wracking-ly exasperating ways of the Knight Riders or the perennial gloom and doom of the Royal Challengers.

From double whammy to double blow aka OUCH that hurts - My next IPL outing was destined to be in the home ground of the Knight Riders – the Eden Gardens! Well, it almost did not happen thanks to the lights-off issue that happened just a match before my scheduled evening out…but then, it happened and when it did, I almost wished it had not happened after all! Why? Because part of my whole Eden thing was of course to be on the winning side and witness and be a part of the legendary-and –notorious-in-the-same-breath Eden crowd – the deafening roars that don’t let players hear what they are thinking, the passion that reduces (visiting and sometimes even the home) teams to tears or joys…and the double pleasure for me was that the opponents for that match were the Mumbai Indians – which meant that I would see – going weak in the knees now – Sachin Tendulkar*** play! Now, THAT did not happen (though I pretty much bino-stalked him at any given opportunity) AND the Knight Riders lost to the then flimsy side!!!

No life aka N.O. L.I.F.E. – all in all, this darn thing has taken over whatever semblance of a social life I had - no calls must be taken (the opposing side inevitably hits boundaries while I make those strange sounds**** on the phone) during match hours, dinner should be arranged between overs as should loo breaks and other sundry activities and heaven forbid if anyone should drop by – CLEARLY, WE ARE NOT AT HOME! I am compelled to add here – though thankfully, for reasons completely unrelated to anything mentioned in this post – that I am without a job these days having quit recently and being on a break (HAH!) so, that completes the spectrum of my life these days…and probably/hopefully/wishfully explains the nyet-itty of the life bit some!

Fee fie fo fum aka ho hum – The news channels have really got under my skin the mostly inane and some insane shows in the name of this tournament are really something else. I mean, even without this tournament there was plenty to groan about these channels, but really, when I say I have no life I truly wonder about there nyet-itty quotient! There are some really sad people out there but what is sadder still (for all of us out here) is that they actually get paid to dish out this trash and the channels actually earn money off these! The biggest grosser (in more ways than one!) is the host channel itself (purportedly not a news channel…not even a sports channel….clearly their talent lies in numbing and killing the brain one cell at a time) What do I know? Maybe it is all part of some larger strategy that will ensure people like me will never be able to go back to the real world after the tournament ends (Well mwahahaha to you too!)

In all of this, rather guiltily so, all my other top (spectator-)sports have been getting “step-time treatment” from me. I hardly followed the Hamburg tournament but at the every least managed to watch all of the men’s finals – which has until now been the only exception in a long chain of whoever-I-support-frustrating-comes-close-to-winning-but loses – with Nadal winning despite last year’s loss and a semi-injury scare early on. Football, however, has taken rather a beating – what with the EPL season now over and the Champion’s league finals having just concluded. Last year, we had to put anti-glare on the TV screen to protect it from my eyes. But hey, we move on to more sedate lives now.

Back to the IPL and since it is not quite over yet, I am pretty sure there will be more to say and hear soon. I still hang on to some shreds of hope wrt the teams I want to see in the semis and the finals, but I would rather not tell now - old age brings superstitions with it. So, I guess, in a way, turning 30 does have something to do with it after all. Hmmm.

*I know I know - this epithet is not grand or (remotely) festive but every other combination possible being conjured and (ab)used by news channels for their various before the big game, expert panel lead up to the big game, breaking big game blurbs, during the big game, post big game analysis shows, this was the only non-copyright-violating-y-name I could use here.

**then there are the must-must-go’s, the must-go’s and so on…

*** do NOT bother to comment/opine on Sachin’s decline since his “hey day” and blah…if you still want to…go ahead but what I mean is that there is no point you can make here (to me)…seriously

**** last call received from new mother informing us about the “good news“ response to that “Ga Ga GAAH! NOOOOOOO!”

Fence sitter of a Brain!

2008-04-04T12:16:00.003+05:30

Took this - left brain-right brain test thingy and look at what my Bluddy Brain does!
*hmmmpppf*

Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz
The higher of these two numbers below indicates which side of your brain has dominance in your life. Realising your right brain/left brain tendancy will help you interact with and to understand others.
Left Brain Dominance: (13)
Right Brain Dominance: (12)
Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz

Getting JoHari with it!

2008-04-04T10:42:00.002+05:30

I recently learnt of the concept of the JoHari window - wherein one can learn of what you know, what others know, what others think they know, and what you think that others know (or don't!)...(phew)...etcetera!

This got me curious (as ever!) and so, I created my own JoHari window for others to participate in - here's a link to it (and also if you want to create your own!)

To all those who (think they) know me - please do give it a shot!
Once again - the link

Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in...

2008-03-11T21:41:00.004+05:30

I can-not be-lieve that I have never blogged about this song. This is possibly the only song in the entire galaxy that I have truly utterly suckerly believed each and every word, note, pause and pitch of! Especially special because it's subject is two of my favorite things in this world - music and the night. Many an insomniac night I have lied awake listening to this song imagining being face to face (or maybe mind to mind) with the Phantom. All in all I do believe it has secret powers.

Presenting the Music of the Night:

Night time sharpens,
heightens each sensation
Darkness stirs
and wakes imagination
Silently the senses
abandon their defenses

Slowly, gently,
night unfurls its splendor
Grasp it, sense it,
tremulous and tender
Turn your face away,
from the garish light of day
Turn your thoughts away
from cold, unfeeling light
And listen to
the music of the night

Close your eyes,
And surrender to your darkest dreams
Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before
Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar
And you'll live,
as you've never lived before

Softly, deftly,
music shall caress you
Hear it, feel it,
secretly posses you
Open up your mind,
let your fantasies unwind
In this darkness
that you know you cannot fight
The darkness of
the music of the night

Let your mind start a journey through a strange, new world
Leave all thoughts of the life you knew before
Let your soul take you where you long to be
Only then
can you
belong to me

Floating, falling,
sweet intoxication
Touch me, trust me,
savour each sensation
Let the dream begin,
let your darker side give in
To the power of the music that I write
The power of
the music of the night

You alone can make my song take flight
Help me make the music of the night

Oh PUHLEEZE - II

2007-09-11T14:03:00.000+05:30

Last week, when asked who he would keep in the competion (if he had a choice) Javed Akhtar's wonderful rationale for wanting to "save" a talent-less, gimmicky performer was "Yeh ladki hai" and hence, represents those millions of oppressed-and-tortured-by-chauvinist-pigs girls who have lived a lifetime of tuneless singing and thumka maaro-ing - and presumably by having whips cracked at them to do so.

Not only was this declaration from a self-confessed "feminist" (he and his wife declared this emphatically on another televsion show some weeks before this one), he decided to go the extra mile and be absolutely horrid to an (talented) 18 year old kid about his career possibilities - but that's beside the point for this post.

The idea of feminisim here is to promote a talentless girl in a(n) uhhh talent show because she is a girl?! This is (unwanted) reservation all over again (and so thanks for taking us back a few thousand years, big guy!) How in your book does this differ from incompetent doctors and engineers and whatever-nots?

And if you must do this, can you please refrain from using the "emancipation of women" excuse? It is very embarassing for me to have to hear this in this context. Instead, you could try the simple you like her more than him (so TOUGH!) or that his lisp reminds you of some childhood memory you would rather not recall or that his hair is too curly...whatever.

Oh Puhleeze - part 1

Frequently Asked Questions du Jour - part 2

2007-09-06T14:01:00.000+05:30

AND so…the big one is finally here – “how is married life?”

How is it indeed? For all those expecting to hear (read: read) either some drastic overhaul-of-one’s-existence discourse or a lengthier version of ummm-no-big-deal…it’s actually a little bit of both and also neither. So, without this getting into the philosophy of marriage and all that it entails – let’s just call this life-when-you-live-with-someone-other-than-your-parents

What I mean by this is that the changes that have come about are very to do with habits and activities and therefore, lifestyle planning…and then the nothing has to do with how I am or who I am and so on. I would call marriage a parallel genome project wherein, a lot of hitherto latent genes (and their manifestations in life) of self and spouse are kinda yanked from their well ensconced depths and held up in front of your face.

Ah yes, the big one is the discovery that I am my daddy – part 2!! I have SO discovered this compulsive-cleaning-up gene that was so bluddy latent over all these years – not to mention, that I would have fought off any remote manifestation in the name of well, rebelling (especially when it comes to my daddy) but then this is the astonishing stark, raving truth of the matter. My friends’ term for this gene is the scary-psychotic-loony-bin gene, I think – given the epithets upon witnessing and/or hearing about my cleaning up routines (yes, there is more than one on a per day basis)

In the beginning I looked at this as a natural extension of my acknowledged psycho gene – that of having baths - in any kind of weather and a minimum of two per day. And so it began with (as soon as we moved to a big enough place) separate bathrooms. Next, I moved all my clothes to the guest room (rationale: since my bathroom is here, so must my clothes and thereby I have a walk-in closet!) What this served to do was leave my husband with the freedom to use his bathroom any which way he liked (and really. Trust me. You don’t want me to go there. Come to think of it, you don’t want you to go there too.) Thus, began the manic (and inevitably futile) cleaning up of bathrooms, the bedrooms, the living room, the balconies…and so on.

Notice the absence of the kitchen in that list? Well that’s because this deserves a whole new/different gene mention. I love cooking! Beginning with the whole gathering of ingredients (and none of that bottled ginger garlic paste for me – I do it all on my own and from scratch) to the arranging the vessels in which I will concoct my lovely, to the serving it at just the right temperature and time….ah bliss. And the smells! Frying onions in garam masala, steamed rice, tomatoes and coconut milk, yogurt and kasuri methi….mmmm…The catch is the severely-non-vegetarian gene renders it virtually impossible that I add vegetables into these heady smells (and thereby spoil it all) – thus, mutton korma, chicken lababdar, prawn malabari and their various brethren take birth (and die) all in my kitchen. Psycho-part? It is mandatory that the kitchen looks just as it did when the cooking began after it’s all over as well – spotless and everything in its rightful place. The ultimate messing with me is rearranging my kitchen. Hoo! As it turns out, you don’t want to go here too…

By this time it is likely that you would have concluded how scary it is to be living with me. And that marriage is-equal-to domesticity cooking and cleaning!

So, lets move on to the less manic aspects now…

Firstly, my routine has changed into a far more active one – I mean I wake (and voluntarily for the more of it) at 6:45 am (you’d have to know how I practically defined/gave shape to the phrase “NOT a morning person”…and technically, I still am not but at least you can communicate with me on basics without fearing for your life) – getting all sorts of morning drinks ready (me: one big giant mug of coffee and one mug of complan; the hujband: lemon and honey; and the maid*: one mug of complan), putting the geyser on for my bath, giving directions to the maid, taking the bath and in all of this, furious mental calculation of time to juggle doing all this and getting out in time to get the office cab. Return in the evening and clean and cook…etcetera. All this has ensured a miracle cure for my hitherto chronic insomnia.

there. done with less manic. now, back to manic.

Manic activity number 1: List making – shopping lists, to-do lists, to-achieve lists, spending lists…this itself is an endless list! The me of yore was probably restricted to the odd to-do list at work, but the me of now swears by and lives and breathes lists for all purposes!

Manic activity number 2: Making calls to people such as your parents or other family and fiends is now a chore in a list! It is no longer a feel-like-it thing! I make time for it and plan for doing this! And corresponding to this is the fact that I prefer not having to talk for as long as I can possibly help it. I love not talking (can you – yes you – believe that?!). Before you started working out the odds on the survival of my marriage based on this disclosure, let me clarify that these phases do not include my hujband…well atleast most of the time!

Manic activity number 3: To be fair, this activity had its roots pre-marriage wonly, but now the manic-ness of it seems to be gaining pace – collecting DVDs of e-ve-ry possible type/genre/language of films and then watching them back to back to back whenever time allows. And btw, there is no accounting for taste or aesthetics during these times.

And finally, the big difference is money…the acknowledgement that it needs to be had and kept and (Okay! Okay!) saved too. All my earning life, I have never paid much attention to its existence until now - there is a stark awareness of its comings, goings, and usings. I feel like the neighbourhood Punjabi aunty who monitored her kids in this fashion (disclaimer: I do not have any filial feelings for money yet and I certainly hope never to!).

By GOLLY, the multiple responsibilities this whole marriage thing has brought about is slowly but surely killing me. I am paying for all those days that I just flung my things and lazed until it was time to sleep and woke up only to be fed….and fall asleep again!

But the sex is good.

* Lest you think I am a spoilt beast, the maid comes in once in the morning to sweep and mop and clean the dishes

Frequently Asked Questions du Jour – part 1

2007-08-07T17:33:00.000+05:30

Been a long time since I wrote some…err make that “any”… Quite frankly, I have not felt like it and even now, I am resorting to this post as a spare-myself-the-expending-of-energy-exercise of having to repeat myself a gazillion times over. (this be the disclaimer for a very, very ramble-y and prêt-ty much directionless post)

Back to the “trigger” for this post though - you see, suddenly, people have nothing new to ask me or speak to me about. Everyone’s world seems to revolve around these four questions.

How’s Bangalore?
How’s married life (et all)?
How’s the new job?
(Oh and…) How’s watzisname?

So, here’s my one shot attempt to put down everything I ever wanted to say in response to these questions.

Answer 1:

Bangalore has not felt much different from Delhi in any big way (I mean, it’s just another city really!) except that I will hasten to add an emphatic “I am loving it!” rightaway. Huh? Well quite simply because I have hated Delhi and living in it for as long as I can remember. And so, just because I hate that one, I love this one!

Even so, it has it’s own little quirks and super jerks (wise-and-evidently-not-frustrated-man says: s’long as there is frustration, free time, and great weather, jerkazoids breed up an army) and so, here’s a list of it all:

The weather here is something I get down on my knees and thank God for all the way. I have lived in the swelter-sweltererer that is Delhi for so long that the slightest hint of respite/relief (read: effective airconditiong) would have me eating out of your hands. So, to be in a whole city where the sun/wind/atmosphere does not actually attempt to murder you as soon as you step out of your home is something I am bloody grateful for! And top that with 24/7 cool breeze…we are talking ehl-eh-vay-SHAN!, people!

Again, after years of practising the art of taking a bath (and this for someone who is psycho about baths – yep, you got that right – I am p.s.y.c.h.o. about baths) with half a bucket of water or less (with the whole soaping routine et all) in the faint hope of a fake oasis one day saving us from this lowly existence, we have buckets and buckets and buckets (Yes! Yes! more than one and then some more!) of beautiful, clean, cool, wet waterrr! (yes, yes, they have their own set of issues with it, but evidently, these do not dent the die-hard-bath-taker’s average routine.*)

The range, variety, and quality of eateries is mind boggling! Each and e-very place I have eaten in this city so far - starting with my office cafeteria to THE Leela Palace and everything inbetween - has ex-ce-llent food! Not to mention at great prices that suit every kind of pocket – the beginning-of-the-month pocket, the mid-month pocket, and of course, the dreaded month-end pocket. From the obvious idli-vadaas, to set dosas, and to my personally ultimate discovery – Konkani and Mangalorean cusine! (sidenote: any food lover with plans to visit Bangalore, DO make a trip to “Kanua” – you will NOT regret it!). The flip side is South-Indianised North Indian food (tip: do NOT assume kababs are like you knew them up north – “kababs” are strange red dry pakoras here!)

Oh and the “garden city” actually does not have so many of those, but it does have lakes! Well, okay, let me just call them multipurpose-natural-water-reservoirs or something…whatever…they are truly lovely! (Since a measly concrete-ridden pothole is the only one the city publicly acknowledges as a “lake”). Coming back to my MpNWRs then - there is this mini version right next to my home and then there is this rather large one on my way to work and they are both absolutely lovely!

Speaking of my drive to work, it is almost surreal - the major part of this 12 minute (which, btw, is a joy right in itself) commute consists of going over a winding road that goes right by the large lake. The water stretches right up to the horizon on one side and to a palm grove on the other…I mean this is my drive to work in a concrete ridden city! It is not supposed to have palm groves and gently-rippling-away-to-glory water! Reality Byte: As you come toward the end of the lake, there is a narrow one-way bridge (which means that only one-direction-bound traffic can travel over it at a given point of time) the lake kind of converts to a green waterfall at this point and that’s where your nostrils make the cruel discovery that this joyous beauty is actually an industrial waste dump site). Still looks beautiful though!

Any discussion of (my) true happinesses in this city would be incomplete without mentioning my home. Now, when I moved to Bangalore, I moved to my husband’s at-the-time apartment that was in the heart of the city. (Note to newbies: In Bangalore, the living tradeoff (for non-native Bangaloreans) stands thus – If you want to stay in the city aka within arms reach of all/most of the “happening places, then prepare for cramped, seriously polluted, and traffic-ridden woes. Move to the outskirts (which by the way are witnessing a development explosion and thereby, will deem any discussion on city lines redundant), while you would be likely rid of traffic jams and get roomy quarters, you would not be so close to those aforementioned “happening” places. Anyway, so the greatest joy in the current home we have (and I think “moving in/out” should be a whole different post) is that its is so very people-friendly! Not a weekend goes by without friends or family or friends of family etc dropping by/staying over. (who-am-I-kidding note: there are moments…okay more than just “moments”…of slight exasperation (“ballistic psycho” is how one house guest once described me) for quite the same reason, but even so…)

Since I mentioned “happening” a couple of time over in the last paragraph, I hasten to add that the city is not quite as “happening” as its word-of-mouth reputation would have us believe. There is an 11 pm (YES! Ee-LEH-vun! I mean, even that dratted Cinderella had it better!) curfew on all places to close down and I am told that I missed a (s.e.n.s.e.l.e.s.s. - I mean, this is the only city that can comfortably be open air!) ban on open air eateries by a whisker (thankfully we have a lot of these now) and really, the pubs are a-okay. Benefit of doubt: they were probably a lot better off without timing restrictions and other such but now, they are just about okay…I have favourites but there is nothing like, extraordinary about these places.

I never ever thought I would say this about any city, traffic is arguably worse than in Delhi! (side note: Actually, I feel Bangalore is a lot like Delhi was about 10-ish years ago…going through a lot of rapid seemingly uncontrolled growth with infrastructure barely being able to keep up with it.) Coming back to the traffic, its not like the distances are much in Bangalore (on the millionth relative-to-Delhi note) but it can take ages to get some place O.N.L.Y. because of traffic. It is chaotic, whim-based and taking on seriously anarchic proportions. This combined with road planning that sucks (the whole city depends on 2-3 major roads to take them everyplace possible), stoopid, STOOPID, one-way systems (they don’t serve any purpose except for you to develop ulcers over the amount of aimless travelling you need to so to get to some place that would possibly be 1/4th the distance away) and bad, bad communication about traffic movements or anticipated obstacles to travel.

And now for the very bane of all Bangalore-kind – autowallahs! I cannot even begin to tell you about what it is like to deal with this breed in this city. Type 1: they just plain refuse to budge from wherever it is you have stopped them – the main road, your local market, an auto stand (this is the worst place to encounter these b@!#$@#s). At first I thought it was a language barrier issue, but my Kannada and Tamilian friends have much the same woes to report. Then, I thought it could be a happening-ness-of-destination issue – but if you don’t want to go to MG Road/the station/the airport WHERE do you want to go?? Type 2: they will agree but only if you agree to/with their a) route plan (which could sometimes include a preferred destination as opposed to the one you dared suggest) and/or b) fares (motto: the succinct and simple “cheat maadi”) Type 3: GET OUTTA THE WAY THEY ARE OUT TO GE…ulp *dead*

Sigh…that’s all for now…there’s lots more about the place such as how amazing the sky is each and every day, how our office is located so close to the airport runway, that planes are at eye level while landing, and how blissfully laidback the city otherwise is. All in all, while I don’t miss Delhi in the least, I do rather wish I could somehow pack all of my friends and bring them here (..and lock them all up in a room only to be brought out when I need them or something)

*for all those tsk…tsking about my apathy to the heart rending plight of farmers driven to suicide by the biased distribution of Kaveri waters, etc…if it helps any, I use borewell water! :P

Coming up next: How’s married life?

A new day dawns...

2007-07-09T00:42:00.000+05:30

...and I am practicing my purpose once again

It is fresh and it is fruitful if I win

but If I lose...

...and blah.

just wanted to post a quick one to say I am still around and I will recount all* that has been and is being since this fateful day!

*okay...almost all!

More than a game...

2007-03-23T16:20:00.000+05:30

...yet, perhaps, still a game...albeit in a different league.

Whichever way, on a personal feelings note, the Bob Woolmer death is possibly the saddest story from the world of cricket after this one.

What is more sickening is that should India lose tonight, all attention will immediately move there and no one will stop to think beyond the immediate. Slander. Insults. Ad Revenues. Destruction.

...and then our pointless lives will immediately move on to the next....big game.

Brand New Day (aka Brand New Life)

2007-03-16T17:11:00.000+05:30

So, as updates go, this one is the mother of them all – I am getting married! And as if the changes that this entails in itself (I believe you could be seeing each other for eons of time but it is still all…uhhh…brand new once you get married) were not enough already, there is the additional reorientation of 'new city' and 'new job' also thrown in!

The ‘new city’ part isn’t all that bad – for years…make that forever…I have wanted the slightest excuse to move out of Delhi (yeah, yeah, I could have done it without this reason to do it…but you try telling my mom that!) and now, it finally happens! So, am pretty glad about that side of things. It is so exciting to be able to discover a new city and its subtleties (and not-so-subtleties too!) and culture…even memorizing landmarks seems exciting right now! Of course, reality will sure begin to bite sometime soon…and is already with this city having a few tsk-tsk notes of its own already…they kill dogs here! I mean, who does that?!

The ‘new job’ bit gets a bit tricky – I have been working in my company for the last four and a half years or so…and so, have been quite out of touch of the whole look-for-job routine for a bit. Also, have never really liked very much the whole negotiations and interviews routine too much, so dammit! But then again, the fact that there is a change and (yeah, baby!) more money at the end of this road keeps me 'inspired' to go on.

Ah. And now for ‘new life’. This is a complete seesaw. There is the freedom to be and do which is so utterly blissful (not that my poor parents had me shackled or anything!) but the whole new responsibilities thing is SUCH a pain for a lazy bum like me! Grocery Bills. Food Bills. Cable Bills and even ensuring a regular supply of essentials such as cigarettes, food, water, milk, etcetera…etcetera…the brow sweats just thinking about them! Such is the bargain. Damn you, married people for not warning us about it though!

All in all - new is definitely better than same ol’ same ol’ and when the dust settles, and when visions of endless movie marathons and lazing and ordering in takes over?

Life begins to smile!*

*except for the killing dogs bit though…I wouldn’t mind if it were auto drivers instead though.

A hilarious forward

2007-03-05T12:35:00.000+05:30

...I received on email. I believe this was written by Shivjeet Khullar, but am not too sure. If someone could confirm/indicate the source, it would be much appreciated!

A is for Awpheesh (as in Office). This is where the average Kolkakattan goes and spends a day hard(ly) at work. And if he works for the West Bengal Gawrment he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have a tea break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30, break for lunch at 1, smoke an unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4 and go home at 4:30. It's a hard life!

B is for Bhision. For some reason many Bengalis don't have good bhision. In fact in Kolkata most people are wearing spectacles all the time.

C is for Chappell. Currently, this is the Bengali word for the Devil, for the worst form of evil. In the night mothers put their kids to sleep saying, "Na ghumaley Chappell eshey dhorey niye jabeö"

D is for Debashish or any other name starting with Deb-. By an ancient law every fourth Bengali Child has to be named Debashish. So you have a Debashish everywhere and trying to get creative they are also called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debanik, Deboprotim, Debojyoti, etc. thrown in at times.

E is for Eeesh. This is a very common Bengali exclamation made famous by Aishwarya Rai in the movieDevdas. It is estimated that on an average a Bengali, especially Bengali women, use eeesh 10,089 times every year. Ei Morechhey is a close second to Eeesh.

F is for Feeesh. These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and are a favourite food of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fish market has such strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a fish is all right. If not he will say 'eeesh what feeesh is theesh!'

G is for Good name. Every Bengali boy will have a good name like Debashish or Deboprotim and a pet name like Motka, Bhombol, Thobla, etc. While every Bengali girls will have pet names like Tia, Tuktuki, Mishti, Khuku, etc.

H is for Harmonium. This the Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar. Take four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The Bheatles!

I is for lleesh. This is a feeesh with 10,000 bones which would kill any ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with releeesh!

J is for Jhola. No self respecting Bengali is complete without his Jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings and he fits an amazing number of things in. Even as you read this there are 2 million jholas bobbling around Kolkata- and they all look exactly the same! Note that 'Jhol' as in Maachher Jhol is a close second

K is for Kee Kaando! It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai (now Kee Kando's agent is trying to hire Bipasha Basu).

L is for Lungi - the dress for all occasions. People in Kolkata manage to play football and cricket wearing it not to mention the daily trip in the morning to the local bajaar. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition to Mt. Everest.

M is for Minibus. These are dangerous half buses whose antics would effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of all James Bond stuntmen as well as Formula 1 race car drivers.

N is for Nangto. This is the Bengali word for Naked. It is the most interesting naked word in any language!

O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where!)

P is for Phootball. This is always a phavourite phassion of the Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there are Mohunbagan and East Bengal and when they play, the city comes to a stop.

Q is for Queen. This really has nothing to do with the Bengalis or Kolkata, but it's the only Q word I could think of at this moment. There's also Quilt but they never use them in Kolkata.

R is for Robi Thakur. Many many years ago Rabindranath Tagore got the Nobel Prize. This has given the right to all Bengalis no matter where they are to frame their acceptance speeches as if they were directly related to the great poet and walk with their head held high. This also gives Bengalis the birthright to look down at Delhi and Mumbai and of course 'all non-Bengawlees'! Note that 'Rawshogolla' comes a close second !

S is for Shourav. Now that they finally produced a genuine cricketer and a captain, Bengalis think that he should be allowed to play until he is 70 years old. Of course they will see to it that he stays in good form by doing a little bit of joggo and maanot.

T is for Trams. Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata. Of course if you are in a hurry it's faster to walk.

U is for Aambrela. When a Bengali baby is born they are handed one.

V is for Bhaayolence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people around. When an accident happens they will fold up their sleeves, shout and scream and curse and abuse, "hoto chhara - maar bolchhi but the last time someone actually hit someone was in 1979.

W is for Water. For three months of the year the city is underwater and every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by surprise by this!

X is for Xmas. It's very big in Kolkata, with Park Street fully lit up and all Bengalis agreeing that they must eat cake that day.

Y is for Yesshtaarday. Which is always better than today for a Bengali (see R for Robi Thakur).

Z is for Jebra, Joo, Jipper and Jylophone.

Life sucks (especially in lymph nodes in the peri-cardial area of the chest)

2007-02-19T15:38:00.000+05:30

In an almost instant (read: one year down) replay of the month of February in 06, I am down with yet another “big-time” disease. (I have decided to call this the “T-series sponsored pre-bridal package” –T for typhoid and T for tuberculosis, for the uninitiated).

So, obviously this has meant yet another seemingly endless series of blood tests and discoveries of what hitherto mundane terms such as ultra sounds, CT scans and the like actually mean/feel like. Of these, I find the ultrasound decidedly sadistic – I mean to make a bladder full (doc: do you feel like peeing now? Me: uhhh…yeah, I guess. Doc: No! No! your bladder is not full enough go drink some more water! Me (meekly): sigh…okay) and then have a gel-like substance + probe (and here comes the sadistic part) keep pressing your super-full bladder. Ulp.

And then there is the CT Scan. First, they make you drink this vile, vile bottleful of medicated liquid they lovingly call “contrast” (drink a glassful every 20 minutes). So, a torturous one and almost- half hour later, you are asked to don an antiseptic robe and are asked to lie down on a table. Then, they poke you with an IV needle. (Now, thanks to the T-series sponsorship, I am as used to needles as Shilpa Shetty to sanctimony, so this wasn’t a bother.) Just as you wonder about the why of this, they start injecting (in my case 3) syringes full of some saline crap (even more lovingly referred to as “more contrast” – like I am some desperately bad transmission-ed TV that they need to adjust to catch the match-winning shot) that instantly finds its way to my throat when I am trapped inside the giant machine. GAWD! That was one nightmare!

Next up are the reports, (which I am convinced are expressly created by losers of the spelling bee or some such and who have since decided to use every possible convolutedly big word to describe the most commonplace things). Now, it is bad enough to have your organs listed like this test was conducted for Hannibal’s annual inventory or something (“Liver – distended. no focal lesions found” …as opposed to NORMAL! or “Uterus – Anteverted” - YIKES! I have an Anteverted Uterus – Is that like, contagious?!”) , they actually go the extra mile to insult some of the organs that they don’t find anything fancy to say about (“Gall bladder – unremarkable” – YOUR Gall bladder unremarkable. Your FATHER's gall bladder unremarkable. bluddy!).

And alllll of these tiresome experiences of course have led to a diagnosis and lots of medication and lifestyle changes and bed rest and truckloads of endless ennui (and thereby, this post)and a lot of change-of-plans in terms of other stuff planned for February and March.

Until ‘08 then…Sigh.

Catching up/Getting ‘with’ it

2007-01-15T14:05:00.000+05:30

Ok, so, phewww it’s been quite a while since I posted and hey, the year has changed since my last post too, so this one promises to be an “all-in-one” (read: an update on all that’s been and a sort of rounding off of the year that was) Here goes.

First up, been traveling like crazy and each and every instance has been characterized by the fact that there has been short/practically no notice. And I can actually say that I have been to each direction in our country in the last two months! First up was a visit down south to Bangalore (with a brief stint in Goa thrown in), followed by another business trip to (Hah! Coincidence!) Bangalore, yet another one to Mumbai, the briefest of respites in beautiful Binsar (for New Year’s eve), followed immediately by a trip to my technical hometown – Kolkata. Am back in Delhi now and hopefully (read: Inshallah/Amen) this is where I shall remain for a while!

Next, the year that was – I don’t know If I am the only person in the planet to feel so, but ’06 all but whizzed by me and lo and behold, ’07 is breathing down my neck and quite threatening to maintain the same pace if not beat the previous fly-by record! 06 began with my maiden voyage to foreign shores followed absolutely immediately by a nasty bout of (drug resistant – no less!) typhoid. These two events alone saw the first half of the year gone. Barely had I regained my footing when HEY, another off-you-go-now summons came along which led to me not only missing some more of the year that I had earmarked as my ‘landmark’ year (don’t ask me why. I just did, ok?!) but also, most of the festivals (the ones I actually like being in Delhi for!)…hell! I missed all the festivals. What made it even worse was that I had vacations and mini-trips planned during this period too. And like, I mentioned, ever since I got back, it’s been one wild ride…

On the personal front, lots of changes taking place – some losing significance because of the combination of volume and velocity they are coming at and some gaining significance by the day. But that’s another post…which, inshallah, shall see the light of day…someday!

Thin Blue Flame - Josh Ritter

2006-11-03T05:17:00.000+05:30

I became a thin blue flame
Polished on a mountain range
And over hills and fields I flew
Wrapped up in a royal blue
I flew over Royal City last night
A bullfighter on the horns of a new moon’s light
Caesar’s ghost I saw the war-time tides
The prince of Denmark’s father still and quiet
And the whole world was looking to get drowned
Trees were a fist shaking themselves at the clouds
I looked over curtains and it was then that I knew
Only a full house gonna make it through

I became a thin blue wire
That held the world above the fire
And so it was I saw behind
Heaven’s just a thin blue line
If God’s up there he’s in a cold dark room
The heavenly host are just the cold dark moons
He bent down and made the world in seven days
And ever since he’s been a’ walking away
Mixing with nitrogen in lonely holes
Where neither seraphim or raindrops go
I see an old man wandering the halls alone
But only a full house gonna make a home

I became a thin blue stream
The smoke between asleep and dreams
And in that clear blue undertow
I saw Royal City far below
Borders soft with refugees
Streets a’ swimming with amputees
Its a Bible or a bullet they put over your heart
It’s getting harder and harder to tell them apart
The Days are nights and the nights are long
Beating hearts blossom into walking bombs
And those still looking in the clear blue sky for a sign
Get missiles from so high they might as well be divine
And now the dogs are howling at our door
Singing bout vengeance like it’s the joy of the Lord
Bringing justice to the enemies not the other way round
The guilty were killed and they’re killed where they’re found
If what’s loosed on earth will be loosed up on high
It’s a Hell of a Heaven we must go to when we die
Where even Laurel begs Hardy for vengeance please
The fat man is crying on his hands and his knees
Back in the peacetime he caught roses on the stage
Now he twists indecision takes bourbon for rage
Lead pellets peppering aluminum
Halcyon, laudanum and Opium
Sings kiss thee hardy this poisoned cup
His winding sheet is busy winding up
In darkness he looks for the light that has died
But you need faith for the same reasons that it’s so hard to find
And this whole thing is headed for a terrible wreck
And like good tragedy that’s what we expect

At night I made plans for a city laid down
Like the hips of a girl on the spring covered ground
Spirals and capitals and the twist of a script
Streets named for heroes that could almost exist
The fruit trees of Eden and the gardens that seem
To float like the smoke from a lithium dream
Cedar trees growing in the cool of the squares
young women walking in the portals of prayer
the future glass buildings and the past an address
the weddings in pollen and the wine bottomless
And all wrongs forgotten and all vengeance made right
The suffering verbs put to sleep in the night
The future descending like a bright chandelier
the world just beginning and the guests in good cheer
In Royal City I fell into a trance
Coz it’s hell to believe there ain’t a hell of a chance

I woke beneath a clear blue sky
The sun a shout the breeze a sigh
The old hometown and the streets I knew
Were wrapped up in a royal blue
I heard my friends laughing out across the fields
The girls in the gloamin’ and the birds on the wheel
The raw smell of horses and the warm smell of hay
Cicadas electric in the heat of the day
A run of Three Sisters and the flush of the land
And the lake was a diamond in the valley’s hand
The straight of the highway and the scattered out hearts
They were coming together, they were pulling apart
And angels everywhere were in my midst
and the ones that I loved and the ones that I kissed
I wondered what it was I’d been looking for up above
Heaven is so big there ain’t no need to look up
So I stopped looking for royal cities in the air
Only a full house gonna have a prayer

PS: this is what the man himself has to say about this song (and others) on the same album...

oh PUHLEEEZE!

2006-11-02T20:46:00.000+05:30

STOP calling "women" a minority group.

we are not a minority and we do not want any "special favours" as a result of it.

we do not want a "women's day". we do not want reservations - in public transport or in govt. jobs.

wake up, smell the coffee, and notice, that they are prolly a lot more of us in and around your lives than you would like to believe.

Vindicated

2006-10-17T20:18:00.000+05:30

i am a free woman today.

why? because santosh singh was convicted of rape and murder.

how does this have any implication on me? therein lies the story. for years - actually ever since my conscious existence, i remember growing up reading newspaper articles about rapes ranging from nine month old girls to senior citizens. i remember secretly thinking, wow, i am lucky, I am 12 and i have not been raped....i am and I have not been raped...etc. This was not even angst-ridden. quite the opposite - matter of fact is how I describe it. I would look at all the males around me and wonder if they had ever y'know raped someone? (the statistics lead one to indicate that like every other man had likely committed one...at least?). again, this was taken as fact. I actually lived with this reconciled/"fact based" notion for quite a few many years too.

Then, i took my first bus ride in Delhi.

with my mother. and I noticed how my mother was surrounded by two men who kept bumping into her and she did not look like she liked it. (she has her own set of "out-with-it" issues, but that's another story) so, while she silently suffered, i was rapidly getting alarmed at the sight of one of my most precious people in the world being unhappy (to say the least) in this big giant seemingly roomy thing we were traveling in. Surely, those guys had enough room to get about without having to bump into my mother (leave her a-looone!)So, i tugged my mother's saree and asked her why she wouldn't just tell them to go sit on that nice empty seat in the front? the desperate/resigned/sad/fearful-all-at-once look she gave me is something I don't think I will ever forget.

cut to college.

more bus traveling - this time of my own and in much more crowded circumstances. the first time "it" happened, I did what my mother did (and then some more...in that I think i must have been inside the college loo or the one at home for - it felt like - weeks at least. made me wonder if she had done that too.) I couldn’t believe how no one seemed to notice what was happening here. Everyone seemed to be looking in every other direction but at me and the man/men around me. I desperately hoped on and on and on for SOME help/intervention but none came through.

This was just the beginning – of many such “incidents”, of a deep-growing anger, and of a resolve – to a. stop waiting and start dealing with things on my own and b. to NOT look away when (NOT “if”) someone else would go through any similar stuff. And hey, I did. A raised voice (you have NO idea how effective this one is!) A jab of the elbow. And even, a couple of (yes, more than one) slaps. That was a part of the “liberating” process. But the anger remained. And if anything, grew on. And I did not know how to stop it.

I have been a very angry girl for the most part of my grown up life. I have lost out on a lot of friendships/relationships because of this seemingly insurmountable rage within me. And today, I suddenly feel like I can breathe. A weight – ok some of the weight – that I have carried and lugged and dragged on my shoulders has been lifted of me. I don’t have to worry about the entire world anymore. Others are beginning to look “this way” and do something about it. and hey, best of all, it’s working.

Thank you – everrrryone.

Glimpses of Columbus

2006-09-17T14:15:00.000+05:30

It's been ...what... 1.5 months already! Time has pretty much flown (sometimes at windspeeds of upto 15 mph) by and I realise i haven't really posted much about life here. Well. that ain't happening just yet either (just being lazy have loads to tell) For now, some pictures of random events/people/places is pretty much it.

I shall try to (at least) keep it chronological.

Picture 1: of the across-the-road-stores fame...and don't miss the skyyy!

Picture 2: the (wonderful, wonderful) Book Loft @ The German Village

Picture 3: Inside the Book Loft (well, almost...)

Picture 4: mid summer midnight rainnnn

Picture 5: My coup de grace (okay, bottle de grace)

Picture 6: Of long drives and endless skies

so far so good for now. more laterrr.

It's TAG time-of-the-month!

2006-09-07T04:26:00.000+05:30

Oh-kayyy, so, when you are silly pic tagged by someone who goes by the name 'Chronicus Skepticus', you wonder about the...the... veracity of the claim...the... the.. credibility of the cause... the... the... plausibility of the mission... the... the...likelihood of the veracity. Oh. so, I reached square one with that. Time to stop questioning and get on with it...but you get the picture, right? Oh wait. you haven't seen any yet.

So, where do I begin? I mean, silly-pic tagging me has either got to be a big mistake or an invitation to my albums (doesn't that - "invitation to my albums" suddenly sound kinky or something? like "Ooohh, why don't you come over and check out my albums sometime?") It doesn't? Right. so it's just me and my weird head.

Mooh-ving on then.

Picture 1

karate? kungfu? NOOO, sirree! It's DISCO GURRL!

Picture 2

really. it is. if you *knew* me, you'd know just how silly this pic is! and to all the friends freading fris: don't even think about it.

Picture 3 (Yep. I can go on...)

sigh. that's me alright. yes, with a cap covering my crotch. Go ahead. make fun of it. me. whatever. bah.

Oh dear GAWD! Nadal just lost! I am officially bawling now. Adiós, mundo cruel!

sniff...and I hereby tag ....sob...witchshine, wandering soul, future corpse, karmic twists and turns, and the unrest cure...*blows nose in hanky*

chhe degree de bichra (di gaddi)

2006-08-25T07:52:00.000+05:30

Read this article on the NYT website and my head spun in circles with the rapidly recurring deja vu it generated! Anyone who has spent - at the very least - an hour on Delhi roads will know what I am referring to. Read on, and be the best judge:

In Italy, red lights come in many varieties. A rare few actually mean stop. Others, to the Italian driver, suggest different interpretations. At a pedestrian crossing at 7 a.m., with no pedestrians around, it is a “negotiable red,” more like a weak orange. At a traffic intersection, red could mean what the Florentines call rosso pieno, or full red, but it might, with no cars coming, be more of a suggestion than a command. It all depends.

The red-light mentality, as the journalist Beppe Severgnini sees it, explains volumes about Italy and the Italians. “We think it’s an insult to our intelligence to comply with a regulation,” he writes in “La Bella Figura,” his witty, insightful tour of the Italian mind. “Obedience is boring. We want to think about it. We want to decide whether a particular law applies to our specific case. In that place, at that time.”

This principle applies to traffic regulations, taxes, solemn laws and personal behavior. Everything is personal and open to discussion. As a result, Italy totters along in a state of amiable chaos, its situation desperate but not serious, which is more or less the way Italians like it, those in charge and those, in principle, being led. “Controllers and controlled have an unspoken agreement,” Mr. Severgnini writes. “You don’t change, we don’t change, and Italy doesn’t change, but we all complain that we can’t go on like this.”

Mr. Severgnini, a columnist for the Milan newspaper Corriere della Sera, turned a fond eye on the United States in his last book, “Ciao, America!,” but this time around, on his home turf, he bites harder and deeper. The paradoxes of Italian life engage him. They bring out the reflective wit that, he argues, is native to most Italians and may be their most potent weapon in the struggle with bureaucracy and social dysfunction. Intertwined with native wit is a strong sense of self-esteem enjoyed by even the humblest Italian, as well as a fatal weakness for beauty and surface appeal, “la bella figura.”

Italians, in other words, would just as soon look good as be good. The country suffers from an ethics deficit, most clearly visible in the attitude toward taxes. Lying outrageously about one’s income is considered normal. In the United States the public regards tax evasion as morally reprehensible. If he were to cheat on his taxes in Italy, Mr. Severgnini writes, “two neighbors would come round to ask me how I did it, and two more would loathe me in silence.” No one would report him.

Mr. Severgnini presents his guide as a tour that is partly geographical and partly conceptual. Over the course of 10 days, he travels from Milan to Tuscany to the far south: Sicily and Sardinia. But the places are merely excuses for little treatises on beaches, restaurants, cellphones, airports, condominiums, piazzas, gardens and offices, all sprinkled with clever observations and telling statistics.

The differences between Italian and British flight attendants, illustrated in a hilarious vignette, help explain the Italian sense of personal drama and the national talent for creatively responding to small crises. Italian flight attendants are poor at serving you coffee but good at cleaning it up and sympathizing when you spill it. Some of this is merely glib. Mr. Severgnini, himself no stranger to the lure of la bella figura, would just as soon turn a beautiful phrase as make a point, and he might do well to heed one of his own points about the restlessly fertile Italian brain: “you can’t amaze everyone every three minutes.”

At the same time, Mr. Severgnini, as he skips lightly from one topic to the next, manages to sneak in some revealing statistics. One in three Italians finds a job through a relative. One in five has moved in the last 10 years, half the European average. Telecommuting is virtually nonexistent, engaged in by only 0.2 percent of the work force — in part, Mr. Severgnini theorizes, because it deprives Italians of the social drama of the workplace.
The Italy that Mr. Severgnini describes seethes with frustration. Government works poorly. The legal system barely functions. Too many Italians are crowded into too little space. Fear of failure stymies innovation. Mr. Severgnini is dismayed at the national genius for enjoyment and the Italian inability to plan for the future. “Our sun is setting in installments,” he writes. “It’s festive and flamboyant, but it’s still a sunset.”

Yet in many areas Italians have jumped at modernity and thrown over tradition almost casually. Cellphones are a national mania. They allow Italians to be Italian in new, entertaining ways. The shopping mall (but not Internet shopping) is popular because Italians pretend that it’s a piazza. New nonsmoking laws, widely predicted to be an absolute failure, have been accepted without a fuss. They created new gathering places and new forms of conviviality. One young man cited by Mr. Severgnini started smoking as a way to meet girls. Restaurants go in for all sorts of newfangled gadgets in their bathrooms, and Mr. Severgnini has a field day with the automated sinks, concealed light switches and baroque flush technology that challenge the Italian diner today.

There is one rule, by the way, that cannot be violated. It is wrong, and possibly illegal, to order a cappuccino after 10 a.m. This is worse than eating pizza in the middle of the day. It is nonnegotiable. Discussion over. Rosso pieno.

..and if you try to read the title of this post aloud with a(ny) foriegn accent, hey, it sounds italian! anyone have contacts with the Genome Project guys?

You are FIRED!

2006-08-25T03:40:00.000+05:30

…and this doesn’t seem to be restricted to us lowly humans anymore! also was vaguely reminiscent of this issue

(sounds like something straight out of Onion, doesn’t it?)

Still crazy...

2006-08-19T06:36:00.000+05:30

...after all these years about these guys.

One of my favourites. here goes.

Its a still life water color,
Of a now late afternoon,
As the sun shines through the curtained lace
And shadows wash the room.
And we sit and drink our coffee
Couched in our indifference,
Like shells upon the shore
You can hear the ocean roar
In the dangling conversation
And the superficial sighs,
Are the borders of our lives.

And you read your emily dickinson,
And I my robert frost,
And we note our place with bookmarkers
That measure what weve lost.
Like a poem poorly written
We are verses out of rhythm,
Couplets out of rhyme,
In syncopated time
Lost in the dangling conversation
And the superficial sighs,
Are the borders of our lives.

Yes, we speak of things that matter,
With words that must be said,
Can analysis be worthwhile?
Is the theater really dead?
And how the room is softly faded
And I only kiss your shadow,
I cannot feel your hand,
Youre a stranger now unto me
Lost in the dangling conversation.
And the superficial sighs,
In the borders of our lives.

Dedication: To all my (so-called?) friends who once were...

Some Travel (and allied misc.) Myths busted

2006-08-11T07:47:00.000+05:30

So, my first day at Columbus, OHIO just got over and here's a couple of things that happened and which lead to this post.

Non-stop/direct flights are more psychologically overwhelming than in reality - they don't feel any more/less than say the typical eight-hour stretch (the ones with stopovers in Europe). I flew by Continental and I LOVED the airlines services per se. (Of course, after the nightmare of the Lufthansa experience, ANY airline would do better!)
You do actually save good time on these flights - I left at a very-decent-for-an-international-flight 10:45 pm and landed in Newark Airport at 4:10 am. Hell, even US Customs hadn't opened shop then! What could better that! (Of course, I was HELL lucky to have scraped the new terrorist threat by minutes and so, didn't have to bear with extra-suspicious looks for being brown skinned.)
IGI Airport has spruced up security since the Mumbai blasts - It took me precisely an hour and a half just to get to the wait-to-board stage and even while I was boarding, they stopped to question me and check my hand baggage again! At any rate, I was altogether too enthusiastic about any checks which could be construed as super suspicious. (Of course, my uber terrorist looks could have something to do with that...)
It is always good to double check with Americans about the simplest/most seemingly obvious of matters - I had specifically booked a smoking room in my hotel and after they hand me the keys, I just thought I would check and hey! it was a non-smoking room (and of course, as any smoker who has not smoked in the last 18 hours would tell you, the blasphemy of this beats any terrorist threat any day!)
Never wear fawn colored trousers and eat a huge tuna melt sandwich and be greedy about nicotine at the same time - the results are three huge splotches of tomato juice mixed with mayo and half a workday with tsk! tsk! looks...in any country really! (Of course, you could just pretend to be from Pakistan at this point)
If anyone tells you "you speak very good English (for an Indian)" - just smile smugly and do not offer any explanations about the general standard of the language being infinitely better than these insular people would like to believe...especially if you are about to be introduced to some Indian techies in the same office soon after. (Of course, this is the perfect opportunity to lend credibility to the 'I-am-from-Pakistan' story.)
Columbus is oh-kayy - I am guessing the New England area spoiled me and so the Midwest looks like bleak farmland in comparison. Though, I have to admit, things are MUCH cheaper here than over there. (Of course, the view from my window is anything BUT farmland...every great store you could think of is all within arm's distance. Now, if only I had the money...)

...and now for day 2...

(PS: I have a feeling my blog is going to disappear of many a country's blogosphere at this rate...ah well)

Columbus

2006-08-05T01:25:00.000+05:30

Once upon a time there was an Italian,
And some people thought he was a rapscallion,
But he wasn't offended,
Because other people thought he was splendid,
And he said the world was round,
And everybody made an uncomplimentary sound,
But he went and tried to borrow some money from Ferdinand
But Ferdinand said America was a bird in the bush and he'd rather have a berdinand,
But Columbus' brain was fertile, it wasn't arid,
And he remembered that Ferdinand was married,
And he thought, there is no wife like a misunderstood one,
Because if her husband thinks something is a terrible idea she is bound to think it a good one,
So he perfumed his handkerchief with bay rum and citronella,
And he went to see Isabella,
And he looked wonderful but he had never felt sillier,
And she said, I can't place the face but the aroma is familiar,
And Columbus didn't say a word,
All he said was, I am Columbus, the fifteenth-century Admiral Byrd,
And, just as he thought, her disposition was very malleable,
And she said, Here are my jewels, and she wasn't penurious like Cornelia the mother of the Gracchi, she wasn't referring to her children, no, she was referring to her jewels, which were very very valuable,
So Columbus said, Somebody show me the sunset and somebody did and he set sail for it,
And he discovered America and they put him in jail for it,
And the fetters gave him welts,
And they named America after somebody else,
So the sad fate of Columbus ought to be pointed out to every child and every voter,
Because it has a very important moral, which is, Don't be a discoverer, be a promoter.

- Ogden Nash

…but America did name a city after him, and that is where I am headed sometime next week.

Omkara

2006-08-04T12:03:00.000+05:30

Yay! I finally watched the movie and how (I sneaked out of work to do this!) I was REALLY hoping that all the expectations I had built up would not lead to a resounding crash (as they often do). I studiously avoided reading any reviews by friends or otherwise But, I am happy (as hell!) and relieved (phewww!) to report that nothing of the sort happened! It did take a while to get used to the dialect (and that’s where being brought up in North India FINALLY paid off!). A few thoughts on a few things:

The Plot: brilliant juxtaposition – the seamless ‘fitment’ which was much in evidence even in Maqbool. And I never thought I would say this, but Omkara actually improves on the (few-fewer-fewest) flaws of Maqbool even…this one is an even truer adaptation if that were possible.
The Casting: Each actor’s physical characteristics are as much part of the casting consideration as is the play on their probable strengths wrt acting per se (with the sole exception of one). Examples of this abound but, of course, primary examples are Ajay Devgan and Kareena Kapoor.
Ajay Devgan: The most unidimensional actor manages make his sole talent work in his character and like how.
Kareena Kapoor: From topping my list of A-nnoying celebrities (she would still feature there) to this movie is a long way indeed. But, at least there is some redemption for Ms All-hype-and-zilch-to-show-for-it in this movie.
Vivek Oberoi: Perfectly sugar-sweet and oh-so-gullible. I generally hate the guy for the sam,e reasons, but these were so perfectly suited to the role! (Oh and I couldn't care to spell his name in his latest numerogically appeasing combination, and is turns out, neither does wikipedia! hee! hee!)
Saif Ali Khan: I have quite run out of adjectives to describe this man’s talent. He just wants to make me scream “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING ALL OF THESE YEARS?!” This is clearly his film all the way. And WHO would have expected this London-returned royal to be feeling the feel, expressing the expression, and bluddy acting the act with the (seeming) ease with which he did. I don’t think the Bard himself figured all the nuances of Iago as well as SAK.
Konkona Sen Sharma: She has, arguably, the best lines in the film, and really, you think she was born in that village in U.P or something when you see/hear her. Just like you believed she was a Tam-Brahm and an urban journo and a mentally unstable Calcuttan….etcetera…
Bipasha Basu: The woeful stick-out-like-a-sore-thumb misfit of the movie. For GOD’s sake, anyone with a face and body like that (and WOW to both!) who can still manage to pour cold, freezing, chilly water over songs like ‘Beedi’ and ‘Namak Issak da’, make you crane your neck to (rather) see the audience to the songs (in the films) enjoying it, has GOT to be punished! Like, her face and body should be confiscated and granted to someone more deserving of it or something! She can stake zero clainm to any form of dancing/acting abilities AND she has NO passion - this is CRIMINAL if you are doing an item dance! (thus spake a veteran who knows ALL about the art)
Gulzar: need I say more? Ok, Sampooran Singh. Thats all.
Oh! and I loved the lady who played Omkara’s mother!

And, of course, for me, the hero of this movie is hands-down Vishal Bharadwaj. He should be made king of something/somewhere, I think!

Vishal Bharadwaj

2006-07-28T17:57:00.000+05:30

When he (only) composed music, I was in love.

When he made Maqbool, I was amazed by his sense of visual detailing

and now, he has made Omkara - can't wait to find out what he has in store for me now!

(the music has all but killed me already - if that is anything to go by, then it's goodbye-world time...)

Statutory Warning: Do NOT refer to 'Beedi' as the new 'Kajrare' unless you are on a deathwish.

An OLLLLLLD favourite!

2006-07-27T20:02:00.000+05:30

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
And I am Marie of Roumania.

LOVE this woman! :D

for more verses by her, click here

pensieve

2006-07-21T00:19:00.000+05:30

All will be well

2006-07-13T12:39:00.000+05:30

a song that I got hooked on to while watching the trailers of a new-coming-soon-at-the-time show called 'Conviction' on NBC.

The new day dawns
And I am practicing my purpose once again
It is fresh and it is fruitful if I win
but if I lose, ooh, I don't know
I'll be tired but I will turn and I will go
Only guessing 'til I get there then I'll know
Ohh, I will know

And all the children walking home past the factories
Can see the light that's shining in my window
As I write this song to you
And all the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true

And all will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell

The winter's cold
But the snow still lightly settles on the trees
And a mess is still a moment I can seize until I know
That all will be well
Even though sometimes this is hard to tell
And the fight is just as frustrating as hell
All will be well

And all the children walking home past the factories
Can see the light that's shining in my window
As I write this song to you
And all the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true

And all will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell

You got to keep it up
And don't give up
And chase your dreams
And you will find
All in time

And all the children walking home past the factories
Can see the light that's shining in my window
As I write this song to you
And all the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true

And all will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell

All will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell
You can ask me how but only time will tell

- The Gabe Dixon band

If you want to hear what it sound like with notes and arrangement et all - mail me.

W.O.W.

2006-07-05T14:21:00.000+05:30

I am not a big huge fan of poetry or anything...as in I don't go out of my way to seek or read poetry...but this girl writes absolutely amazing stuff over and over and over again.

She makes me want to seek poetry.

Read her poetry here.

Thank you for the music...

2006-06-29T14:11:00.000+05:30

As I look back over the years, many musical inspirations have been the result of various peoples’ influence – sometimes it was the sheer passion with which they spoke of an artiste and his/her works, sometimes it was the stumble-upon kind of discovery…whichever way, these people led to my discovering or re-discovering several great works that eventually came to be a part of my little repertoire of pet passions. So, here I am today, thanking each one of them (as far as I can remember) for having done so – consciously or not. Ona strictly top-of-mind basis, these are some significant influences/influencers:

Simon ‘n’ Garfunkel – D.I.
Pearl Jam – A.S.
Embrace – B.H.
Indigo Girls – P.S.
Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd – J.A.S.
Leonard Cohen – S.D.
Counting Crows and Coldplay – T.T.
Alms for Shanti, Fuzon – K.M.
Shakti and Indian Ocean – M.M.
Mrigya – Mezz
Cake and Josh Ritter – R.M.
The Kinks and The Pretenders – G.C.
Keane – A.A.
Bob Marley – R.S.

Will update this list as and when I remember more.

And thank y'all – from the bottom of my toes.

Hearing is Believing!

2006-06-14T10:33:00.000+05:30

I just learnt (courtesy an email forward) that you can actually LISTEN to any PDF document (as opposed to reading it!)

the keyboard shortcuts that control this feature are:

Ctrl+shift+b - to hear the entire Document
Ctrl+shift+v - to hear a page
Ctrl+shift+c - to resume
Ctrl+shift+e - to stop

I tried this and it works!

wow. technology.

Helpline for Women

2006-06-06T12:28:00.000+05:30

I am seriously contemplating starting a helpline for otherwise sensible women who experience a ‘momentary lapse of reason/temporary bout of insanity that leads them to suddenly contemplate being with or worse, marrying complete losers who would otherwise not get a second look (let alone a second’s time) from these women.

These irrational moments are triggered of by anything from a sudden pang of ‘being the only one left’, to friends sending in ‘happy family’ pictures (Bless them!), to (the most obvious!) feeling guilty about still piling on to your parents, and when pms-d – (stooped!) ads featuring loving husbands looking fondly at their wives and/or kids.

The objective of this helpline will be to drive sense and sanity home to these women when they need it the most aka when they don’t make sense and are, in fact, insane.

Thoughts and suggestions to further this enterprise are welcome.

Creeping and Crawling

2006-06-01T19:38:00.000+05:30

Man oh man oh man! I have no clue what has gotten into me - I have been struggling to blog for quite a while now. The irony is that while I was off (for 1 and 1/2 WHOLE months!) I actually had a 1000 (read: metaphorically) ideas I wanted to blog about...and in fact, I actually created a list and all - this being unusal because I have never been anythign of an avid blogger at the best of times! At any rate, now that I have the health, the access, and the means....there is (for some strange reason) no action! I am quite concerned about this, so if any of you (whoever, if, still visits this blog) has any idea of how to get out of this, do tell!

How indeed?

2006-06-01T19:36:00.000+05:30

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles in laughter in strife.
In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?

- Rent - the musical

I Proud to be Deal-ist!

2006-05-10T09:50:00.000+05:30

I live.

I heal.

I cope.

I deal.

Yeah, I am back...

...and now to get some of the blogging groove back...

The onset of laze

2006-02-27T23:48:00.000+05:30

...indicates that I am back now. However, part - III shall yet see the light of day.

ground zenith - II - all about pubs

2006-02-19T03:13:00.000+05:30

First up - all in all we went to 4 pubs that night!

# 1 was more like a pit stop for a couple of drinks before we carried on with the walking 'tour'didn't take no pictures there and its was like a narrow little crowded place with Shakira playing and the Winter Olympics on. Unbeatable combination that.

# 2 was my favourite stop that night - Back Fence, Greenwich Village.

Now, just the fact that we were in THE Greenwich Village had me going. I mean, I was maybe walking where Mr Zimmerman had or even other great musicians, and so, when my friends told me about this place playing live music - I felt like maybe just maybe I was going to be in the resence of my next potential favourite band or something. Truth be told that did not happen coz the band in question was ike 40-something and playing the strictly popular numbers by the Simon and Garfunkel's, John Denver, Lynnyrd Skynyrd, etc. Oh and they did sing 'Like a Rolling Stone' too... :)

What they taught me was how one can be so happy doing the thing you really love doing - obviously these guys were not looking to make it big ot anything and had probably been playing in this little place for the last decade or so (my friends who visit the place regularly vouched for their having been there for at least that time) - what a pleasure it must be to be able to do this.

# 3 was called Senor Swanky's and turned out to be a stopover of sorts too while we grouped (more friends joined in) and we decide where we would head for the rest of the night. The decision was practicaly unanimous - a karaoke bar was to be our next destination!

Whack event of the night: We stopped a limo and took a lift in it to Muse! here's a glimpse of our smug selves in the limo.

# 4 - the Karaoke Bar - Muse,

Now, I have never been to a Karaoke place ever before and so, I didn't quite know what to expect. Plus, the last time I ever did some (aesthetic and publically acceptable) singing was like in school and college and when I didn't used to smoke! But, as is alcohol's wont - things rock and so do usedto-wannabe singers like me! I think I sounded like I have an alternate career all lined up!

and DO me a favour and DON'T ask me about what my head felt like the next morning...err... make that all day.

coming up next - the snowwwww!!

...not part - II

2006-02-18T11:28:00.000+05:30

just a quick note to say that I am soon going to be homeward bound -

Home.
where my thoughts escaping. (what will I get to eat for dinner?)
Home.
where my music's playing. (actually, all my music is with me and I got some new stuff here)
Home.
where my love lies waiting silently for me. (nopes got my fave books and movies with me too)

ah well, still homeward bound I am...

I leave on the 20th, lose a day, and reach on the 22nd.
...just in time for your birthday, AE! :)

my clients seem to have just woken up to this fact and suddenly we are in the thick of a lot of action concluding with a meeting even on sunday!

on another note, I tried stuffing my stuff into my suitcases and man! was it an ordeal or was it an ordeal - and this with there still being some stuff left to stuff. Damn. I knew I shouldn't have broought along so many movies and books. stupid. stupid. stupid.

yes, yes, lots of 'stuff' in there.

and I still do mean to post part - II soon though.

ground zenith - part I

2006-02-14T11:33:00.001+05:30

oh boy. oh boy. oh boy.

As you can see, I am back from NYC after not just an exhilararting-for-various-reasons weekend but also with an extra day off thanks to the 'Blizzard of 06' - to which I was a personal witness! :)

Do I sound like a star struck tourist? Well, for the first time ever, I actually felt hopelessly like one - it's like being a teenager all over again and suddenly coming face to face with your crush or something!

Yes, I had heard loads about NYC and all sorts of extreme opinions over time - and as track records go hype always kill-eth - but nothing, nothing prepared for me for what I saw, felt, and experienced in this truly great city and amazingly enough, it was ALL good.

The first picture is what comes closest to the first view I had of the city - this is the first instance of manmade inanimate objects inspiring some kinda awe - I mean, mountains have done and do so all the time - high rise concrete is not supposed to be in the same .

(I didn't take this picture was impossible to do so from behind the Greyhound windows.)- it's from this website)

So, my Friday night adventure began with my friends picking me up at the Port Authority Bus station and from thereon we went walking all over the city.

Guess who (/what) we almost immediately 'ran into'?

(from L to R - Rakhee, Samuel L. Jackson, Smita)

After this quite unusual start to the tour, we walked by the usual sights n sounds. These included:

Turning my back to Times Square

saying hello to David Letterman and ESPN (not in picture)

playing watch-other-people-skate-and-laugh at the Rockefeller Center

meeting some other Indians

horsing around in general

...and then we went to a pub that played live music - next post that - so watch this space for more...

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

2006-02-10T04:25:00.000+05:30

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!

The world forgetting, by the world forgot.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!

Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd

- Alexander Pope

just saw the movie and this stuck on...

YAY!!

2006-02-09T09:19:00.000+05:30

Boulevard of Broken Dreams just won the Record of the Year at the Grammy's!

Size does matter!

2006-02-09T07:00:00.000+05:30

...at least when it comes to apples, coz hey, I am headed for the biggest apple of them all - New York City! My first real trip-trip since I got here. Going to be there alllll weekend! Have bought my tickets, done the laundry, packed and all set.

guess which way I am headed.

ulp

2006-02-08T09:34:00.000+05:30

I ate up a baby octopus today.

and now I am feeling very uncharacteristically sad about it.

:(

stupid random insom(a)niacal thought

2006-02-07T11:37:00.000+05:30

Question: what do you call an imaginary story that messes with your head?

Ans. Fucktion

(and this is what made me get up, log on, and friggin' post on my blog. God damn.)

All about me

2006-02-06T10:33:00.000+05:30

So, well, the parents have been complaining like hell about how there've been no pictures of me in all of this while and i have had one heck of a time explaining how I look just like I did when I was over 'there' and it's the place - what I see here - that I would rather shoot more of than me! But, hey, they have a way of getting things done and so, here are now, some pictures of me at the annual day thing I attended in Atlanta over the weekend and where I 're-union-ed' with some of my colleagues. Hell, I even had my first real outing to a pub and a drink (alcoholic)!

Funny thing happened on my way back - which was probably propelled thanks to my near-harrowing experience at the Atlanta airport which almost made me miss my flight - but it's 'funny' nonetheless: I felt like I was coming 'home' to Providence! Maybe, I should tell my parents that! hee! hee!

Oh and since they have all been shot within minutes on the same day, not much variety to offer.

prospect terrace - at last!

2006-02-02T11:06:00.000+05:30

well, so ever since I started my Tourism R&D of Providence, I kept hearing of Prospect Terrace - a place which purpotedly affords the best view of the city. The rain had so far prevented me venturing to it, but took the chance to go there thanks to the fact that I was riding with my favourite cab driver (another whole post) this morning. I dropped in there on my way to work. does it really have the best view? You be the judge!

more views - I

2006-02-02T11:01:00.000+05:30

The sky suddenly cleared this morning and sunshine peeped through after what seemed like ages. What also 'peeped' through was a massive traffic jam on the one route to get into the city - took the opportunity to take some pics from the slow moving cab.

Road to Massachusetts

2006-02-01T08:11:00.000+05:30

Yeah, this is just outside my wndow too! And this is the road I walked about 2 miles down on my first evening here.

Picture quality (seemingly) not great coz shot through jaalis. Incidentally, this road has every shop and resaurant you ever heard of...and t(h)en some more.

View Point

2006-02-01T08:07:00.000+05:30

The view from my room when I had just arrived - considerably less snow around now though slated to get some fresh stuff in anytime soon. Still raining away (since Sunday evening) btw...

Home Away From Home

2006-02-01T08:04:00.000+05:30

The hotel in East Providence I am staying in. LOVE the little Kitchenette - plays a significant role in my little fantasy living-alone world.

picture perfect

2006-02-01T07:54:00.000+05:30

well, not quite-even-remotely 'perfect', but tired of the weather not letting me go out to take any pictures that I might actually like, I took some quickie pics of the view I get from one of the windows in my 6th floor office.

so, unveiling the city (and cars) of Providence, Rhode Island

Beauty

2006-02-01T07:40:00.000+05:30

Beautiful lyrics from a beautiful song from a beautiful movie.

Baavra Man - Swanand Kirkire

Baavra man dekhne chala ek sapna
Baavra man dekhne chala ek sapna
Baavre se man ki dekho
Baavri hai baatein
Baavre se man ki dekho
Baavri hai baatein
Baavri si dhadkane hain
Baavri hi saansein
Baavri si karvatoin se
Neendiya door bhage
Baavre se nain chahe
Baavre jharokhon se
Baavre nazaaron ko takna

Baavra man dekhne chala ek sapna

Baavre se is jahaan mein
Baavra ek saath ho
Is sayani bheed mein
Bas haathon mein tera haath ho
Baavri si dhun ho koi
Baavra ik raag ho
Baavri si dhun ho koi
Baavra ik raag ho
Baavre se pair chahe
Baavre taraanon ke
Baavre se bol pe thirakna

Baavra man dekhne chala ek sapna

Baavra sa ho andhera
Baavri khamoshiyan
Baavra sa ho andhera
Baavri khamoshiyan
Thartharati loh mad tham
Baavri madhoshiyan
Baavra ek ghungta chahe
Haule haule bin bataye
Baavra ek ghungta chahe
Haule haule bin bataye
Baavre se mukhre se sarakna

Baavra man dekhne chala ek sapna
Baavra man dekhne chala ek sapna

Play it again...and again...and again.

Greetings from/of Providence

2006-01-30T10:45:00.000+05:30

so, it's been a week - AND my very first weekend is just getting over - in the Unites States of America - a country I never in my wildest dreams expected to be my first (voluntary) international experience - for various reasons! Ok, not counting my stop over at Frankfurt and of course, strictly speaking, this trip isn't voluntary either!

anyhow, landed in Atlanta, Georgia (that's where our company's US office is located and no, I don't work at Coke) and my first impressions were rather on the lines of "So, this is the US? What's the big deal really?...etc." Coz apart from wider and cleaner roads, I didn't really 'feel' anything.

Moving on, spent a day and a half there and then, flew down to Providence, Rhode Island where my clients are located. Now, THIS is a really pretty city - firstly, it is kinda compact and therefore, nice! secondly, the buildings here are a mix of old/quaint red brick stuff and new, modern high rise-y looking stuff. thirdly, there was left over snow all obver the place which looked just right around all the red!

So, what exactly have I been doing here? Am officially here on a business trip for a project but have been trying to get some sightseeing plans built in to my shedule. The first dampener (pun unintended) to that came in the form of heavy rains today that killed my plans to go over to Boston for the day. I spent yesterday walking up and down the beautiful roads stockign up on my groceries and stuff coz snowfall is predicted next week. Next weekend I need to be in Atlanta again and so that leaves me with two more weekends to 'play' with - one is DEFINITELY in for NYC - what boosts my trip is that I have friends there so finally, won't be groping my way through a city! and another for Newport, RI and Boston (Amen!)

What have I learnt?

how to turn on the heating - didn't realise that I didn't have it on at all for two whole days - and I was freezing my a*& off!
how to use the commercial laundromat - was praying hard that it wouldn't eat up my quarters like the damn vending machine in Atlanta did!
how to use a payphone - do you put the coins in first or do you dial first? well, now i know!

Since then, the only leisure activity - apart from my long exploratory walks - I have done is to go watch a movie (Brokeback Mountain - the truck loads of hype maybe did it but I didn't feel it was all THAT great) and I plan to go back for more. Hope to have some pictires of the beautiful city the next time I post.

I absolutely love the peaceful solitude of my existence and the fact that now, I finally am getting the chance to take care/be responsible for my own self!

Oh, and Life is just so convenient here!

(I wanted to say a lot more, but for now, this will have to do.)

Uh-Oh! It seems...

2006-01-18T11:53:00.000+05:30

....birds of a feather do flock together! Took this test I found on AE's blog, and here're the results for all...uhh...only appropriate people...to see:

You speak eloquently and have seemingly read every
book ever published. You are a fountain of
endless (sometimes useless) knowledge, and
never fail to impress at a party.What people love: You can answer almost any
question people ask, and have thus been
nicknamed Jeeves.What people hate: You constantly correct their
grammar and insult their paperbacks.

I have to admit though that in the question about meeting dead people, I selected Michelangelo Buonarroti (painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel) mostly beacsue he was Italian.

For Rookie Instructional Designers

2006-01-17T10:29:00.000+05:30

How to invent company names – a quick guide

Q) Why do you need to think so much while creating a company name – after all, it’s just a scenario and hey, it’s fictitious, right?

A) Wrong. The name that you create for this yes, fictitious company is extremely important in the whole run. There are several reasons for this:

It is the first association with the rest of the case that the student makes so it needs to be realistic. Remember, when a student reads a case, he is also forming pictures in his mind. Any hint of non-realism or contradictory information will actually detract him from the task he needs to perform.
It needs to create the necessary impact for the student to be interested to know the whats – of the situation and the problem he needs to solve.

Steps

Sit back. Close your eyes and imagine your company – what does it look like? What do the people who work there look like – bustling with energy or going about their work seriously? What are they wearing – formal/informal clothing? Do you see more machines or men? Etc…It is very important to have seen beyond just a name because the rest of your case study will be molded around this vision. No vision=ambiguous/contradictory information.
Based on the permutation-combination of all your responses to this introspective series of questions, select a name that represents:
the company’s core business – for example, SuperSpeed Airways. This aspect is especially important when you are naming companies in the ‘manufacturing’ vs. ‘service’ industry.
the company’s image as you visualized it – for example, let’s say you have to create a name for a company that manufactures mobile phones - if you visualized a formal setting for this company, a name like ‘Competel’ would suit the image (representing ‘competent’ and ‘telecom’). On the other hand, an informal setting could possibly lead to a name like “Chirpen Telecom’ …or something!
Since you are obviously aware of the key task and situation you want to weave in the case at this point, it would be a good idea to check if this name matches those series of situations.

Do’s

Keep them as realistic to ‘real’ company names as possible. For example, Garbledeegook Software Solutions may be your private snigger/joke but may not exactly create the relevant impact.
Very important: Once invented, do a Google search to ensure that such a registered company does not exist – else they can sue you J … but if you are inventive enough, they might just hire you for naming their next product!

Dont’s

For God’s sake, avoid the mistake of naming the company with something that would reflect their product or image in a negative manner. For example, who would want to buy SquirtJet Printers or LeakaLot pens, etc.

Good luck and happy inventing!

An Endless Fit of Happiness

2006-01-13T11:12:00.000+05:30

May your restless heart and straight-faced smiles
Have found that space, have marked those miles

May you finally have found that place to call your own
May you now believe that you were never lone

May you be resting your weary feet from that long journey uphill
And may you too get to experience that endless fit of happiness
When time, but all, stood still.

Thank you, Ranajit Sir for everything and hope you, one day, can forgive.

Wedding Whittles

2006-01-09T13:20:00.000+05:30

They say weddings are a time to gain and to lose – damn right! Losing sleep and hair and gaining pimples and weight seem to be the order of the day! As I have mentioned before, my family has established something of a tradition what with consecutive weddings in the last week of December over the last three years.

So after considerable deliberation, I can safely say that these are what weddings are all really about for the people who are not, in fact, the to-be-wed couple :

If you are married, then it is everyone’s birthright to know the details of your sex life right down to when you intend to stop using protection and start having wild, unbridled sex in the hope of giving some “good news.”
If you are unmarried you are not ‘important’ enough and have no specific role to play in any of the elaborate stuff – however you are perfectly free to drink your sodden, single self silly.
If you are unmarried and are related to the person getting married, then every single man or woman is potential ‘next time’ material – the hushed whispers wonder whether those rumors about your being gay are true after all.
People you have never met/who ‘met’ you when you peed on their lap (when you were a kid…I hope) begin conversations with “MY! How much you have grown! Do you recognize me?” – not right now I don’t, but I could try peeing on you again, maybe the stain would jog my memory some?

...and a Happy New Year!

2006-01-02T13:45:00.000+05:30

have had a crrrazzzyyyy week what with a wedding in the family and all that - in the last week of December for the third consecutive year. It's becoming a family tradition of sorts to get married sometimes this time! All that ensued will probably form a new post - the second of my three resolutions is to be a little less lazy!)

Meanwhile...

Here's to a happy tomorrow full of everything you wished for and then some more. May this year be better than years past and much worse than the ones to come. Happy 2006 to you and your loved ones.

Hope it's all good.

My resolutions:
1. Be more kind and less torturous to my hair.
2. Be a little less lazy.
3. Take myself a little less seriously.

Guess, 'less' is the new 'more' then!

Cheers to that.

Are You Naughty or Nice? (Santa is comin' to town)

2005-12-25T12:51:00.000+05:30

me?

"You're on the Naughty list...Coal for you this year."

Are you naughty or nice?(Santa is comin to town)
brought to you by Quizilla

Ah well, Merry *nudge, nudge, wink, wink* Christmas, everyone!

Not-so-Trivial Pursuit

2005-12-23T13:18:00.000+05:30

Recently discovered three websites that have opened up my blindered eyes some more about the wonder that is the Internet - yeah, yeah, it's kinda late in life and I am still at it! Have added all three on my sidebar links.

Site 1: http://www.yousendit.com

This site is awesome when it comes to transferring or sending big files across the world or hey, to your own self! All you gotta do is upload the file (up to 1 gb) on to the very-user-friendly interface, key in the recipient's email address and voila! The recipient receives an email not more than 2 kb in size (as opposed to days of yore wherein this files wuld either clog up bandwidth or occupy precious storage space) with a link directing you to the download point. The link is available for seven days since the time of upload and the best part is that it doesn't take eons to upload or download - well, at least on a DSL connection.

Site 2: http://www.songfacts.com

A virtual blessing for all music trivia lovers! It has a comprehensive listing of all sorts/sizes/shapes of songs and a gist of all the trivia there could be. Additionally, it allows for comments on these facts by users which in turn builds on the base trivia...christmas through the year, anyone?

Site 3: http://greendayauthority.com

One of the best sites about a band/singer I have ever come across - again, comprehensive and lists every possible aspect of information that a genuine follower of the band's music could possibly want to know.

that's all the discoveries for now. gotta go celebrate these before I stumble upon some more and then it will be back to anxiety and breathlessness at the thought of "SO much to know/learn/hear/read/discover and SO little time..."

Caricature Carnival

2005-12-21T13:10:00.000+05:30

I had originally meant to write a ‘proper’ review of what I witnessed, however, since you are by now, no doubt, familiar with my propensity for the seventh sin, this – an extract from an email I wrote to a friend about it – will have to do.

Here goes.

On Sunday I did what I haven’t done in a very long time – go to a concert featuring saif ali khan playing the guitar with Parikrama. We (my friend and I) thought we were late coz we reached at 4:10 but as it turned out, they let crowds gather and gather and then finally let people in only around 5:30! (side note: the chief sponsors were royal stag and Genpact btw - this fact will play a larger role further into the story) So, we were in this open air farmhouse with NO seating (we couldn't sit on the grass coz it was all wet) and the event begins with an inter-company band competition - and as it turned out, it was an inter-BPO-companies band competition! This is a summary(!) of what ensued:

EXL - the instrumentalists in the band were DAMN good! The vocalist however, firstly, was very bungaali (accent!) and secondly, since he was from a BPO (accent-er!) - so what he combined to form was by far the weirdest accent in the whole wide world! Singing wise, his mission seemed to be "hit a note and darned well stay there with all my might!" However, they chose to perform a very crowd-pleasing array of songs which was, of course lapped up and so they managed a pretty decent job - Come Together (Beatles), Creep (Radiohead), With or without you (U2) and We will rock you (Queen)
Daksh - The poor band was very morose and gloomy and the crowd was rather mean to them - they WERE pretty off but also, pretty low on confidence so we felt rather sorry for them...poor things! They played some Nirvana and Metallica's Unforgiven (all sad - in every way!)
Hutch - These guys called themselves "Pink Patrol" and after singing the first three songs (Knocking on EAVEN'S door (not 'heaven's', mind you!), The wall - II (Floyd and something else) rather sorrily they decided to reveal just WHY they call themselves that by getting their other...ahem...female vocalist come on stage to perform the last number - what's up (4 non blondes) - ummm... Lets just say she was scolding everyoNe and demanding the answer to her angst ridden - WHATS GOING ON?! Like it was all our fault or something that she didn't know the answer..oh, and just in case we didn't get it already - she was dressed in pink.
Vicissitude - These guys ROCKED! And I mean - ROCKED! And from the word go at that - especially coz what they played is not my typical type of music and YET I loved them and they were really really good! The lead singer was re-a-lly good! Ok, so I should stop saying that and move on to the songs the played - RATM (don't know the name of the song) followed by Limp Bizkit's Take a look around (MI2) followed up by a medley they created which had everything from more RATM, summer of '69, the wall-II, we will rock you ending with Ma tujhe salaam (Rahman) - it was classy and really good! Unfortunately for them, they ran out of time (what the organizers were doing to any time that exceeded time was switch off the onstage volume so they had to get out :( )
GE - This was THE team and THE performance of the day! OmiGAWD! Well, so let me just tell you how the lead singer began (in his highly BPO accent - This was actually default for every other band and well most of the crowd did comprise fellow BPO compatriots - I am slightly biased and also not used to it so it jarred like crazy and so I go on and on about this!) - verbatim opening speech, "we will begin with the prayer of all rockers...can you peoples GUESS? HAAN?? HAAAN?? Come On peoples! ...well its our very own Pink Floyd...say yeah to Pink Floyd coz HE ROCKS!!" I kid you not and then he went on to attempt to sing - at least I think that’s what he was trying to do - the wall-II! After he finished (both his attempt and the song) he moved on to murder nirvana's man who sold the 'whurrld' - even the instruments were like completely off and you have to really suck at a whole new level to get the intro to this song wrong!! Then, suddenly he sits down on stage and makes this semi-dedication-type- announcement to someone saying "This one goes out to a friend I promised something two years ago and now, I am keeping the promise..." he then made some strange sounds with his mouth and out of nowhere burst into "na JAANE kab se" (Aadat by Jal/Atif Aslam) that was when the audience (including me) practically cried and begged him for dear life to get off the stage....man!
EFunds - now, after the last performance, I think we, the audience, was ready to embrace practically anyone who would replace the last band, so these guys technically had an unfair advantage! But then, this band eventually turned out to be the only other really good band in the competition anyway. So, the first thing different was a female lead vocalist who was really really good - with the whole stage management and building rapport with the audience thing. They also began in style/show-sha - spoke about december 8th being John Lennon's death anniversary etc and the whole Efunds team released white balloons in the air as a mark of respect or whatever and then she sang two lines from Imagine. And THEN she followed it up with one of my favorite songs and she sang SO well - Green day's Boulevard of Broken Dreams. I actually don't remember the remaining songs - though they were great too! So, basically, by this time, I had shortlisted these guys and Vicissitude as my favorites.
Genpact - very non descript initially, but they played two self composed numbers - the second of which was good enough to get the crowd moving - which is a great feat considering that easy familiarity of known songs does not exist and stuff...but overall, in my mind, they were average and not like, exciting or anything...also, admittedly, at this point I was highly distracted wrt things on stage coz suddenly there were a lot of drunken/leery uncle-jis all around us and I was NOT very happy about this!
JWT - the last band and presumably the only non-BPO (I am assuming this was the advertising industry's J Walter Thompson - if so this would be the only non-BPO entry) - they had 4 separate vocalists and each was better than the other - but their stealer-of-the-show (at least for us!) was their guitarist - he OBVIOUSLY thought he was ;like the coolest and mostest-nicotine-deprived person/thing-everrr to hit the planet - he had a lit cigarette in his mouth the whole time he was on stage - Slash style! It was just so amusing to watch and we kept staring at his mouth to see when the HELL the smoke releases and where the hell it (the smoke goes!) - amazingly no smoke went anywhere!

This was the last of the bands and like, the results were on stage in two seconds FLAT from the time these guys cleared the stage which of course led us to wonder what came first - the competition or the results! So:

Third place - EXL (what?! Ok, cool...they were not AS bad as some of the others)
Second place - Viccissitude (YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!)
First place - Genpact (what? WHAT??! This is SO rigged!) - and this is where that little sidenote about the sponsors connects to.

Ok, so next came Parikrama and as was apparent - Nitin Malik has recently discovered that he can sing in falsetto - so he sang the entire length/breadth/height/depth of Rock 'n' Roll (Led Zep) in what can best be described as a cross between Bee Gees and Kishore Kumar in that Half Ticket song. They moved on to Jump (Van Halen) and then two other songs...and then, he comes to the mike to announce Saif Khan's arrival! So, now, by this time, we were really really pooped and in my case, frostbitten for the next 100 janams worth of limbs - so the general thought was he had BETTER be able to play more than just "happy birthday to you" or "twinkle twinkle little star" on the guitar. He came. He played. And like, WO-OW! He really CAN play - played the lead on two AC/DC numbers and then he started to SING! Sang Johnny Be Good (Chuck Berry/Elvis/Green day) and then, Roadhouse Blues! I am seriously impressed and quite shocked - like, he can totally chart an alternate career and all that!

And then my poor legs couldn’t take any more and so, we left.

It’s been a while

2005-12-16T14:17:00.000+05:30

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!

And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry

- Staind

…well nothing quite as dramatic as that but it HAS been a while since I blogged and posted and browsed and commented…and everything else blogospheric.

So, a lot has happened since the time I discovered “my music personality”

Bliss: Loads of new books bought – some purely because I was getting a good price (Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina for 99 Rs.!) and many that I had been on the lookout for well, a while…; loads of new movies watched and new music discovered and heard – and if I weren’t the truly lazy person I am I would tell you more about these!

Anticipation/Apprehension: On the professional front, things are looking up a bit – well actually don’t know if it is ‘up’ yet but certainly new things happening there – a new project, a client-site visit, and a dream-come-true opportunity to work with – in whatever capacity – a person I really admire/respect AND like! In all of this, I am expected to travel out of the country for the first ever time in my life sometime in Jan – something I had managed to successfully procrastinate for all these years.

Madness/Chaos: My personal life.

Oh! And I love the fact that winters are finally here! As a proud McChicken connoisseur, I emphatically declare: I’m loving it!

Ah well. Until I have something new to say in a less lazy fashion.

Do-Re-ME!

2005-11-22T16:44:00.000+05:30

My Music Personality

Leg Before Wicket - better than foot in the mouth

2005-11-22T16:23:00.000+05:30

Ok, so the title has nothing to do with the contents of this post.

What it is about is as follows:

Bangalore ODI. India vs. South Africa. Second Innings. Pathan and Gambhir batting. Sometime during these two making sorry and mistimed attempts to call/run. Arun Lal commentates:

"When there is no hesitation, we invariably make it."

What an eerily profound statement this is both on and off the field.

shite.

Psyche me!

2005-11-03T18:02:00.000+05:30

Another gem from the Psychology series I am (still) working on. This from a course ambitiously called "The Psychology of Women".

A section on Menopause begins with this line:

Menopause is a rare event in nature — only humans and one species of whale experience it.

Hmmm. wonder what hot flashes on whales feels like.

Oooooohhh!

2005-10-27T23:49:00.000+05:30

You are most Like A Sapphire! Dark, mysterious - but unforgettable. You have a
deep beauty. Delicate, and shy you try to stay away from the limelight but often your intelligence puts you in at the deep end. You're like a Sapphire, because, your
beauty is priceless. You're intelligent, full of opinions, and not big-headed about it all. Sometimes you need to put yourself out there, as you can be a bit shy. Congratulations ... You're the mysterious gem everybody wants to have and learn more about.

Which Precious Gem Are You ?

Valley of Power

2005-10-21T13:03:00.000+05:30

Last to last evening, I was watching an NDTV program on the quake victims. Basically, one of the worst hit areas In Pakistan - Muzaffarabad - is unreachable thanks to LOC restrictions and the phone lines are down, so this channel had arranged a tele-meeting of sorts for groups of people on both sides. Most people of course enquired about their relatives and they generally got responses on the lines of - no home, bad weather, no food, bad conditions, etc. One person however heard for the first time that his entire family was wiped out - this was a terrible moment and everyone on camera and off it got affected by this bit.

It was so frustrating to watch these two groups having to resort to a tele-meeting thing when they are probably a couple of hundred miles from each other ALL thanks to crappy political statements people are making. Is this the time to be making these?? What kind of people are they? What would they have been doing if any member of their family had been stuck in this sort of a situation or worse, had passed away and there was no way you could reach them not because you didn't want to but you COULDN'T for no ability-related-reasons? It was just deeply sad.

I had hoped to see this disaster becoming a leveler and maybe (miraculously) undoing all the strife and boundaries that have been pounded and propounded over the years. Sadly, nothing of the sort has happened and it's almost seeming like a curse someone has cast (do you cast curses like you do spells?) over the people of Kashmir and thereabouts - you either die by bullets or by disasters such as this...or worst of all, you live days full of terror, hunger, pain, and insecurity for the rest of your life.

Even the militants are doing their bit - soon after the quake - that by the way was supposed to have wiped out many many militant camps - they announced how this was the time to help their 'brothers and sisters' and not a time of violence but fog social work and upliftment. How do they go about dong this? By storming into a Jammu and Kashmir state minister's office and shooting him dead and injuring everyone else there. Social work indeed.

Then I read this article on NYT that someone sent in – It managed to deepen this feeling of sadness and introduced the new feeling of cringe-y embarrassment/shame at a country who is making points at a time it can ill-afford to do so. As a citizen of that country it tells me what my country's priorities are and will be should I ever be in any sort of trouble.

On an analogous-with-parenthood note, this action leaves an indelible scar. On the regular note, speaks eons of the maturity levels that led to this brilliant decision. The irony is that this purportedly roots form aspiring for a seat in the UN Security Council. Is a country that neglects the security of its own country in such a callous manner worthy of it? 'worthy' is stretching it. Does it even deserve more than a snort for this? Come to think of it, I don't care half as much for the reaction to the country as much as I do for those poor people who have got the worst of it - they survived the damn earthquake.

Aasche bochchor aabar hobe!

2005-10-17T18:25:00.000+05:30

Well, Durga Poojo came and has already gone this year.

What was the same was that my parents - as they have been doing for the last 4-5 years now - left the city during this time. What this translates to is unimaginable stress for a lazy bum like me - the stresses of waking early to fill the water, letting in/out the maids, figuring out what to eat AND what to feed my brother, getting even less sleep than I already do...in short, responsibilities I am so not used to couple with the whole dressing up and walking miles from pandal to pandal...and all the while battling crrrrazy crowds!

What was different - and I still can't put my finger on what the HELL happened there - was that this year I felt what can best be described as a surge of emotions (mixture of pride, fondness, and sheer sentiment) whenever I was near the traditional celebration sights, sounds, and smells this year.

The sights - the beautiful idols and the ladies that congregate around her to perform all the rites and rituals and everyone big and small in their new-clothes-finery and beaming smiles.

The sounds - the special drum called 'dhak' which is the trademark durga pooja sound played by specialist drummers referred to as 'dhakis'

The smells - the holy smoke - coconut hair burning with an incense like powder in an earthen hand held pot that vaguely looks like a very very fat wine glass. This is called 'dhunuchi' and of course the street side vendors serving the best of food - as oily, greasy, and over priced as ever - but nonetheless adding to the spirit!

I am still vaguely hung over with all of it and then some more...my feet are still officially dead and my heart still beats to the dhak...

sighhhh.

Insecure, Illiterate, Pathetic, and Mindless

2005-10-14T11:38:00.000+05:30

Just when you think you have seen it all, out comes this.

The scam itself is not half as sorry as is the reaction.

It has already led to this

Rashmi and Gaurav - we're with you on this one.

and to anyone who reads this, please be kind to spread the word

PS: JUST so this appears on blog searches, this is about IIPM. IIPM. IIPM. IIPM. IIPM.

Duh.

My A-list of A-NNOY-ING celebrities

2005-10-05T14:19:00.000+05:30

Paris Hilton
Britney Spears
Jennifer Lopez
(lately) Tom Cruise

...this is an on-going enterprise...

Is this LOVE? Is THIS love? IS this love?

2005-10-03T15:05:00.000+05:30

Like many others, I have grown up with certain notions – preconceived and/or observed – of what love constitutes, what it should feel like, and how one should know (Read: parameters to indicate that “love is all around”). However, as time goes by, and needless to say, this water-tight concept doesn’t fructify, we keep compromising along the way – a concession here, a concession there – like some super-bargain-of-a-lifetime. “Maybe that is not as important as I thought it ought to be…” “Maybe no guy in the world is like this…” etcetera….

As a result, we keep pruning down our ideals until we’re left with what? Endless sadness? Deep-rooted dissatisfaction? Ever-growing cynicism? …And, of course, whether you’re with somebody, sombodies or not, gnawing loneliness.

This may be somewhat idealistic but - Why do we have to go through life this way?

For You

2005-09-30T14:29:00.000+05:30

In my dreams I'm dying all the time
As I wake its kaleidoscopic mind
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to lie
So this is goodbye
This is goodbye

Tell the truth you never wanted me
Tell me

In my dreams I'm jealous all the time
As I wake I'm going out of my mind
Going out of my mind

- Porcelain by Moby

Waiting for God?

2005-09-28T18:19:00.000+05:30

I'm trying to tell you something about my life

maybe give me insight between black and white

and the best thing you've ever done for me

is to help me take my life less seriously

it's only life after all

yeah

well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable

and lightness has a call that's hard to hear

I wrap my fear around me like a blanket

I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it

I'm crawling on your shores

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains

I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains

there's more than one answer to these questions

pointing me in a crooked line

and the less I seek my source for some definitive

(the less I seek my source)

the closer I am to fine

- Closer to Fine by Indigo Girls

...There's more, but not for now...

Dead Horse Dropping

2005-09-20T14:59:00.000+05:30

Received an email forward that split my sides! Here goes...

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed down from generation to generation, says that when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. In many organizations, however, a whole range of far more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

Change the riders.
Buy a stronger whip.
Do nothing: "This is the way we have always ridden dead horses."
Visit other companies or countries to see how they ride dead horses.
Perform a productivity study to see if lighter riders improve the dead horse's performance.
Outsource: Hire a contractor to ride the dead horse.
Harness several dead horses together in an attempt to increase the speed.
Provide additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.
Appoint a committee to study the horse and assess how dead it actually is.
Reclassify the dead horse as "living-impaired."
Develop a Strategic Plan for the management of dead horses.
Rewrite the expected performance requirements for all horses.
Modify existing standards to include dead horses.
Declare that, as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overheads, and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line than many other horses.
Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.”

...the scary part is how very true to worklife this actually is...

Birds of a feather can't be choosers

2005-08-25T09:18:00.000+05:30

This is one more from the 'really bored' series.

Too many cooks are better than two in the bush.
Many hands make more noise.
Empty vessels make light work.
If wishes are horses, don't put all your eggs in one basket.
All that glitters speak louder than words.
Actions are always greener.
A friend in need is a master of none.
Absence makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play is mightier than the sword.
A stitch in time blames his tools.

If you'd like to contribute any to this list, here's a site that has an exhaustive list of English proverbs.

M'aide! M'aide!

2005-08-24T13:02:00.000+05:30

I have NO clue how to rectify this bizarre thing the previous post I published did!! Anyone with any HTML knowledge please help!!

:(

Am very bored...

2005-08-24T12:51:00.000+05:30

...and lazy, as you may have notice, and so...

the Prankster

(38% dark, 38% spontaneous, 21% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN COMPLEX LIGHT

Your humor has an intellectual, even conceptual slant to it. You're not pretentious, but you're not into what some would call 'low humor' either. You'll laugh at a good dirty joke, but you definitely prefer something clever to something moist.

You probably like well-thought-out pranks and/or spoofs and it's highly likely you've tried one of these things yourself. In a lot of ways, yours is the most entertaining type of humor because it's smart without being mean-spirited.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Conan O'Brian - Ashton Kutcher

You scored higher than 18% on dark

You scored higher than 23% on spontaneous

You scored higher than 15% on vulgar

Click here to take the test

Happy Independence Day

2005-08-11T16:12:00.000+05:30

When Liberty yearns and Freedom pleas,
When oppression spurns and stifles cease,
That state of being we strive to be,
That gift of blood, that pride of piece,
That stream of struggles on behalf of me,
That state that be,
My country.

Top Ten Web Fads

2005-08-04T14:56:00.000+05:30

Does number 9 make us fad-ists?

Just Chill

2005-08-03T16:12:00.000+05:30

Hey Javed,

No worries. Don't bother. And of course, as Salman sagely advises: Just Chill, Chill...

Best Wishes,
Every Secular Indian

Luckless Law or Lawless Conspiracy?

2005-07-28T12:51:00.000+05:30

In recent times, it seems like all of law-enforcement is going through some seriously bad-karmic-times. All three cases have good/honest intent going horribly awry in common, apart from seriously tragic results.

First, the Metropolitan police shooting an innocent man in London.

Second, the Indian Army killing a group of (again) innocent boys.

and,

(arguably) Third, the police in Gurgaon trying to (what was originally...) control a huge mob.

The epilogue?

1. A Paid Vacation.
2. Arrests and Apologies
3. Blood, More Blood, a Judicial Probe, and a Bandh

Apparently...

2005-07-25T13:52:00.000+05:30

You Are 28 Years Old

28

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

and to think all this while I believed I was 27! BAH!

mish-mash-mush

2005-07-22T15:34:00.000+05:30

Just read this article. Feeling sad, sick, and proud all at once.

A Voyeur’s View

2005-07-19T11:34:00.000+05:30

Background: On Friday, I was at a friend’s place for a house-warming dinner thingy. I had been experiencing this mild discomfort-ish feeling I my abdomen for the last three days and the feeling continued at the do.

Suddenly, towards the latter half of the evening, I developed what I can best describe as a series of shooting pains in my abdomen area. These rapidly increased in intensity and in well, the periodicity of occurrence. They worsened enough for me to have to leave the party soon enough.

The unbelievably voyeuristic part: While in the car on my way home (a friend was dropping me) coupled with dealing with the pain et all, I had thoughts like “What if I am dying and no one, not even me, knows it?” I then proceeded to rationalize it by telling myself, “I walked on my own to the car so I can’t be…but what if I am stronger than most other people and therefore, I could still be dying!”

In retrospect, this conversation threw up a whole series of questions about who/what kind of a person I am:

Is it ‘media influence’ or have I always been this way?
Does this sort of thing apply to others’ lives too?
Am I the kind of person all those MMS’s and taped conversations are targeted at?
Worse, is the TOI written for people like me?

A (read: escapist) part of me doesn’t even want to know the answers for fear of what they might reveal. Life crap is.

Give Peace a chance

2005-07-07T17:29:00.000+05:30

In the tradition of things that the Hallmark/Expressions/Archies-ruled times have brought about, apparently, tomorrow is World Peace Day.

On this momentous occassion, I have a few suggestions to bring some (peace) about:

Take an appointment with George W Bush and pour your guts out about everyone from the bully at school to your friendly neighborhood MLA. The more the people who know about them, the more likely that damn bully will finally get to pay for messing with you.
Write a 1000 word article about your path breaking discovery on anti-dandruff shampoo being a potent biological weapon and get it published in the NY Times. This would create a furore and lead to the US immigration officials arresting anyone with more than 21666 hair on their head as a potential terrorist.
Use your Visa card to buy all the doves in Rajasthan and set them free in a widely covered symbolic event. This would showcase the cultural heritage of India AND show them buggers at MasterCard a thing or two.
Write and release another book on Lady Diana, and how you witnessed a torrid affair between her and LK Advani. This would deflect all media attention, and nobody would care about boring, mundane things like wars and weapons anymore.

Do add any ideas/strategies you can think of...

A question

2005-07-04T10:13:00.000+05:30

...and not very original at that, but want to ask it anyway:

"Don't it always seem to go
...that you don't know what you got
till it's gone?

They paved paradise
to put up a parking lot..."

:-/

The Ultimate love poem

2005-06-28T19:13:00.000+05:30

I read this poem, by Walter 'Savage' Landor, way back when I was in class 12. Many moons, miles, and a million shattered hearts later, I still sigh when I read it.

You smiled, you spoke, and I believed
By every word and smile deceived
Another man would hope no more
Nor hope I what I hoped before
But, let not this last wish be in vain
Deceive, Deceive me, once again

...Bluddy romanticist, bluddy!

Age Old or Old Age

2005-06-23T14:45:00.001+05:30

...Got this 'forward' on email recently, and it opened the same ol' debate that I have had with so many friends, peers, and family.

**************************************************************
According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 60s, 70s and early 80s probably shouldn't have survived, because our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint which was promptly chewed and licked.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or cabinets and it was fine to play with pans.

When we rode our bikes,we wore no helmets, just flip-flops and fluorescent 'spokey dokey's' on our wheels.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or airbags - riding in the passenger seat was a treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle - and it tasted the same.

We ate chips, bread and butter pudding and drank fizzy juice with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing.

We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle or can and no one actually died from this.

We would spend hours building go-carts out of scraps and then went top speed down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into stinging nettles a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We would leave home in the morning and could play all day, as long as we were back before it got dark. No one was able to reach us and no one minded.

We did not have Play Stations or X-Boxes, no video games at all. No 99 channels on TV, no videotape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no DVDs, no internet chat rooms.

We had friends - we went outside and found them.

We play elastics and rounders, and sometimes that ball really hurt! We fell out of trees, got cut, and broke bones but there were no law suits.

We had full on fist fights but no prosecution followed from other parents.

We played chat-the-door-run-away and were actually afraid of the owners catching us.

We walked to friends' house. We also, believe it or not, WALKED to school, we didn't rely on mummy or daddy to drive us to school, which was just round the corner.

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls. We rode bikes in packs of 7 and wore our coats by only the hood. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of....They actually sided with the law.

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

And you're one of them. Congratulations!

Pass this on to others who have had the luck to grow as real kids, before lawyers and government regulated our lives, for our own good. For those of you who aren't old enough, thought you might like to read about us - we had a childhood!!!

This, my friends, is surprisingly frightening, and it might put a smile on your face. The majority of students in universities today were born in 1986. They are called youth. They have never heard of "We are the World, We are the Children", and the "Uptown Girl" they know is by Westlife not Billy
Joel. They have never heard of Rick Astley, Bananarama, Nena Cherry or Belinda Carlisle.

For them, there has always been only one Germany and one Vietnam. AIDS has existed since they were born. CD's have existed since they were born.

Michael Jackson has always been white. To them John Travolta has always been round in shape and they can't imagine how this fat guy could be a god of dance.

They believe that Charlie's Angels and Mission Impossible are from last year. They can never imagine life before computers.

They'll never have applied to be the A Team, Red Hand Gang or the Famous Five. They'll never have applied to be on Jim'll Fix It or Why Don't You.

They can't believe a black and white television ever existed. And they will never understand how we could leave the house without mobile phone.

Now let's check if we're getting old:

You understand what was written above and you smile
You need to sleep more, usually until the afternoon, after a night out
Your friends are getting married/already married
You are always surprised to see small children playing comfortably with computers
When you see teenagers with mobile phones, you shake your head
You remember watching Dirty Den in EastEnders the first time around
You meet your friends from time to time, talking about the good Old days, repeating again all the funny things you have experienced together
Having read this e-mail, you are thinking of forwarding it to some other friends because you think they will like it too....

Yes, you're getting old!!!!

As if...

2005-06-21T08:59:00.000+05:30

...getting to know when you will die - and down to the lastest second at that - wasn't enough, there is another site, which tells you what/who you were in your past life!

Ah...the many uses of the Internet...

Of tributes and other such...

2005-06-20T15:03:00.000+05:30

Well, since no one answered my question, I am going ahead and posting one of the greatest influences - both in terms of effect on me, and by virtue of the fact that its very creation stemmed from one...

For those not in the know: This is a five page long poem by Bob Dylan when he was a 20 something 'nobody' - this was the output/his reaction to hear that one of his greatest idols - Woody Guthrie was, in fact, dying.

I first heard of/read it thanks to Jabberwock many, many moons ago. Since that fateful day, I have read, re-read and then, re-re-read it about a million times...not to mention the number of times I have heard it as part of the Bootleg series. You can also hear it here.

Anyway, here goes...

Last Thoughts on Woody Guthrie

When yer head gets twisted and yer mind grows numb
When you think you're too old, too young, too smart or too dumb
When yer laggin' behind an' losin' yer pace
In a slow-motion crawl of life's busy race
No matter what yer doing if you start givin' up
If the wine don't come to the top of yer cup
If the wind's got you sideways with one hand holdin' on
And the other starts slipping and the feeling is gone
And yer train engine fire needs a new spark to catch it
And the wood's easy findin' but yer lazy to fetch it
And yer sidewalk starts curlin' and the street gets too long
And you start walkin' backwards though you know it’s wrong
And lonesome comes up as down goes the day
And tomorrow's mornin' seems so far away
And you feel the reins from yer pony are slippin'
And yer rope is a-slidin' 'cause yer hands are a-drippin'
And yer sun-decked desert and evergreen valleys
Turn to broken down slums and trash-can alleys
And yer sky cries water and yer drain pipe's a-pourin'
And the lightnin's a-flashing and the thunder's a-crashin'
And the windows are rattlin' and breakin' and the roof tops a-shakin'
And yer whole world's a-slammin' and bangin'
And yer minutes of sun turn to hours of storm
And to yourself you sometimes say
"I never knew it was gonna be this way
Why didn't they tell me the day I was born?"
And you start gettin' chills and yer jumping from sweat
And you're lookin' for somethin' you ain't quite found yet
And yer knee-deep in the dark water with yer hands in the air
And the whole world's a-watchin' with a window peek stare
And yer good gal leaves and she's long gone a-flying
And yer heart feels sick like fish when they're fryin'
And yer jackhammer falls from yer hand to yer feet
And you need it badly but it lays on the street
And yer bell's bangin' loudly but you can't hear its beat
And you think yer ears might a been hurt
Or yer eyes've turned filthy from the sight-blindin' dirt
And you figured you failed in yesterdays rush
When you were faked out an' fooled while facing a four flush
And all the time you were holdin' three queens
And it's makin you mad, it's makin' you mean
Like in the middle of Life magazine
Bouncin' around a pinball machine
And there's something on yer mind you wanna be saying
That somebody someplace oughta be hearin'
But it's trapped on yer tongue and sealed in yer head
And it bothers you badly when you're layin' in bed
And no matter how you try you just can't say it
And yer scared to yer soul you just might forget it
And yer eyes get swimmy from the tears in yer head
And yer pillows of feathers turn to blankets of lead
And the lion's mouth opens and yer staring at his teeth
And his jaws start closin with you underneath
And yer flat on your belly with yer hands tied behind
And you wish you'd never taken that last detour sign
And you say to yourself just what am I doin'
On this road I'm walkin', on this trail I'm turnin'
On this curve I'm hanging
On this pathway I'm strolling, in the space I'm taking
In this air I'm inhaling
Am I mixed up too much, am I mixed up too hard
Why am I walking, where am I running
What am I saying, what am I knowing
On this guitar I'm playing, on this banjo I'm frailin'
On this mandolin I'm strummin', in the song I'm singin'
In the tune I'm hummin', in the words I'm writin'
In the words that I'm thinkin'
In this ocean of hours I'm all the time drinkin'
Who am I helping, what am I breaking
What am I giving, what am I taking
But you try with your whole soul best
Never to think these thoughts and never to let
Them kind of thoughts gain ground
Or make yer heart pound
But then again you know why they're around
Just waiting for a chance to slip and drop down"
Cause sometimes you hear 'em when the night times comes creeping
And you fear that they might catch you a-sleeping
And you jump from yer bed, from yer last chapter of dreamin'
And you can't remember for the best of yer thinking
If that was you in the dream that was screaming
And you know that it's something special you're needin'
And you know that there's no drug that'll do for the healin'
And no liquor in the land to stop yer brain from bleedin’
And you need something special
Yeah, you need something special all right
You need a fast flyin' train on a tornado track
To shoot you someplace and shoot you back
You need a cyclone wind on a stream engine howler
That's been banging and booming and blowing forever
That knows yer troubles a hundred times over
You need a Greyhound bus that don't bar no race
That won't laugh at yer looks
Your voice or your face
And by any number of bets in the book
Will be rollin' long after the bubblegum craze
You need something to open up a new door
To show you something you seen before
But overlooked a hundred times or more
You need something to open your eyes
You need something to make it known
That it's you and no one else that owns
That spot that yer standing, that space that you're sitting
That the world ain't got you beat
That it ain't got you licked
It can't get you crazy no matter how many
Times you might get kicked
You need something special all right
You need something special to give you hope
But hope's just a word
That maybe you said or maybe you heard
On some windy corner 'round a wide-angled curve
But that's what you need man, and you need it bad
And yer trouble is you know it too good"
Cause you look an' you start getting the chills"
Cause you can't find it on a dollar bill
And it ain't on Macy's window sill
And it ain't on no rich kid's road map
And it ain't in no fat kid's fraternity house
And it ain't made in no Hollywood wheat germ
And it ain't on that dimlit stage
With that half-wit comedian on it
Ranting and raving and taking yer money
And you thinks it's funny
No you can't find it in no night club or no yacht club
And it ain't in the seats of a supper club
And sure as hell you're bound to tell
That no matter how hard you rub
You just ain't a-gonna find it on yer ticket stub
No, and it ain't in the rumors people're tellin' you
And it ain't in the pimple-lotion people are sellin' you
And it ain't in no cardboard-box house
Or down any movie star's blouse
And you can't find it on the golf course
And Uncle Remus can't tell you and neither can Santa Claus
And it ain't in the cream puff hair-do or cotton candy clothes
And it ain't in the dime store dummies or bubblegum goons
And it ain't in the marshmallow noises of the chocolate cake voices
That come knockin' and tappin' in Christmas wrappin'
Sayin' ain't I pretty and ain't I cute and look at my skin
Look at my skin shine, look at my skin glow
Look at my skin laugh, look at my skin cry
When you can't even sense if they got any insides
These people so pretty in their ribbons and bows
No you'll not now or no other day
Find it on the doorsteps made out-a paper mache´
And inside it the people made of molasses
That every other day buy a new pair of sunglasses
And it ain't in the fifty-star generals and flipped-out phonies
Who'd turn yuh in for a tenth of a penny
Who breathe and burp and bend and crack
And before you can count from one to ten
Do it all over again but this time behind yer back
My friend
The ones that wheel and deal and whirl and twirl
And play games with each other in their sand-box world
And you can't find it either in the no-talent fools
That run around gallant
And make all rules for the ones that got talent
And it ain't in the ones that ain't got any talent but think they do
And think they're foolin' you
The ones who jump on the wagon
Just for a while 'cause they know it's in style
To get their kicks, get out of it quick
And make all kinds of money and chicks
And you yell to yourself and you throw down yer hat
Sayin', "Christ do I gotta be like that
Ain't there no one here that knows where I'm at
Ain't there no one here that knows how I feel
Good God AlmightyTHAT STUFF AIN'T REAL"
No but that ain't yer game, it ain't even yer race
You can't hear yer name, you can't see yer face
You gotta look some other place
And where do you look for this hope that yer seekin'
Where do you look for this lamp that's a-burnin'
Where do you look for this oil well gushin'
Where do you look for this candle that's glowin'
Where do you look for this hope that you know is there
And out there somewhere
And your feet can only walk down two kinds of roads
Your eyes can only look through two kinds of windows
Your nose can only smell two kinds of hallways
You can touch and twist
And turn two kinds of doorknobs
You can either go to the church of your choice
Or you can go to Brooklyn State Hospital
You'll find God in the church of your choice
You'll find Woody Guthrie in Brooklyn State Hospital
And though it's only my opinion
I may be right or wrong
You'll find them both
In the Grand Canyon
At sundown

...and yes, I could have linked to where it is, but I deliberately chose to post the whole thing up here to feel it once more…

On another note - Thank you, Jai…

On yet another note, I found this site, which claims that you are a Dylan fan only if you have done any of the zillion things it lists!

Freudian Fate

2005-06-09T16:35:00.000+05:30

Am currently working on a set of graduate courses in Psychology…came across this and it all but split my sides!

The name of the Psychology thinker: Horney
The area of research/expertise: Penis Envy

...even funnier - this line that I quote straight from the book - "The section "Horney's explanation of Penis Envy" was revised to show Horney's early acceptance of the belief "Anatomy is Destiny" and her later rejection of that belief..."

Hee Hee!

:D

I am so I am

2005-06-08T16:23:00.000+05:30

was browsing through some random blogs off links from friends' blogs...etcetera...came across another test/quiz on this site...something I haven't seen in a while since this....and so...

You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.

Cultural Creative - 88%
Idealist - 81%
Modernist - 75%
Romanticist - 69%
Postmodernist - 63%
Materialist - 56%
Existentialist - 38%
Fundamentalist - 31%

Click here to take the test.

Can't get...

2005-06-08T11:46:00.000+05:30

...Kajrare - the slutty-semi-mujraesque-item-number out of my head! I loved everything about it - from the way they have used Alisha's voice, to the very, very, U.P. dancing ...Last year, I went to Kanpur for a friend's wedding, enjoyed the entire experience tremendously ...and this completely took me back to the time! The song itself has been playing practically on loop...and the wannabe item dancer in me has been having a field time moving with/to it!

sighhhhhh....back to kajrare then...

Epilogue-ish sort of thing: I couldn't care less for its force-fitted-and-totally-showcasing-the-father-son-thing placement of it in the movie.

PS...

2005-06-07T10:24:00.000+05:30

Are we allowed to name a work by a songwriter that is not a song, yet means a lot to me? For example, a poem or short story by a singer/songwriter.

...and just FYI, I am not referring to Madonna's books just yet.

Oh, and I tag:

WiTcHsHinE - Though if you see her blog, this should be a piece of cake for her!

...may the curse be with you!